My Fullmetal Drabble Collection
by Ulquiorra9000
Summary: Snippets of life from all across Amestris, from the shorty Alchemist to the proud (maybe too proud) army to frozen Briggs to the homunculi's secret lair! Wide variety of characters, too!
1. Chapter 1: Relax

**My Fullmetal Drabble Collection**

 **by Ulquiorra9000**

 **A/N:** Hi, everyone. This story will be a companion to my _Bleach_ drabble collection, and I've been wanting to write for _Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood_ for a while now. Every drabble will be between 100-150 words. Some will be silly, some serious, some in the middle ground! How many will we reach? Let's find out!

 **Chapter 1: Relax**

"Ed, you said you'd help! Get off your butt and _move_!"

Winry stalked through the Rockbell house, steam shooting from her ears, brandishing her wrench like a sword. The place sure needed some work: dirty dishes (attracting ants!), the unswept porch, weeds in the garden, furniture to re-arrange, and who knows what else!

Finally, Winry found her friend... lounging in a hammock! "Relax, will you?" Ed suggested. "Like me! It's good for you! Ouch!"

Winry whacked his head. "Be ready to work in five minutes, please!"

But when she came back to find him, he was gone... until she pried open Alphonse's chest plate and found Ed crammed inside!

"Can't avoid your chores, big brother," Al commented.

Ed groaned.


	2. Chapter 2: Lettuce

**My Fullmetal Drabble Collection**

 **by Ulquiorra9000**

 **Chapter 2: Lettuce**

Gluttony stared in dismay once he sat at the table. "Whaaaaat? I can't eat this!"

Father pointed with his fork. "You haven't been eating right, my boy. Get some vegetables in you!"

"But... a salad? I don't wanna..." Gluttony poked at the Caesar salad before him, eyes drooping in sadness. He waited until Father and the other homunculi weren't looking, then snuck off into the kitchen for a real dinner. No way would he eat _lettuce_!

"Father, I wasn't -! Gluttony?!" Wrath whirled around from the open fridge, his mouth crammed with a hot dog, a cheeseburger, and prime pork ribs.

Gluttony burst out laughing. "Look at your face!"

Wrath went red. "I won't tell Father you came here if you don't tell on me."

"Sure. But I never thought...!"

"Well, of course." Wrath finished his meaty dinner. "Salads? That's not real food! That's what _my_ food eats!


	3. Chapter 3: Spot

**My Fullmetal Drabble Collection**

 **by Ulquiorra9000**

 **Chapter 3: Spot**

Roy Mustang hummed the latest hit song to himself as he drove to Central headquarters in his ever-so-stylish steam-powered car. He was king of the road! Hell yeah!

...Until he found another, smaller car in his favorite parking spot, a silver model with a vanity plate that read HWKGIRL.

No. Way!

"That's my spot, Lieutenant! Give it back!" Roy threw open the door to Riza Hawkeye's office just as the LT was having her morning coffee.

Riza jumped. "Spot?"

"Parking! Spot!" Roy waved his arms angrily. He ignored the people chuckling and pointing at him.

Riza took a sip. "To the winner go the spoils."

"Winner of _what_?"

"Racing to work, slowpoke!" Riza winked.

So the race was on every morning! Fast and furious!

Roy didn't get his spot for months.


	4. Chapter 4: Snowman

**My Fullmetal Drabble Collection**

 **by Ulquiorra9000**

 **Chapter 4: Snowman**

For all her attitude and deadly glares, Olivier Armstrong loved to get her paperwork done on time, nice and tidy! But there was another problem... she peeked into Captain Buccaneer's office and found an unruly stack of undone papers! She spotted him goofing off in the sparring ring, not a care in the world.

Olivier grinned wickedly.

Half an hour later, she scooped up some snow and morphed it into shape, doused it in water and froze it, and placed her creation on Buccaneer's chair in his office. When the burly officer arrived, he stared.

"Major General! How can I get work done with that snowman on my chair?" he wailed.

"Relax," Olivier said. "It'll get just as much work done as you do!"


	5. Chapter 5: Offer

**My Fullmetal Drabble Collection**

 **by Ulquiorra9000**

 **Chapter 5: Offer**

"U-uh... one dozen blue hyacinths, please," the man stuttered, pointing at the flowers at the street corner flower shop one evening in Central city.

"Here you are, sir." The lady accepted the payment and handed them over. "Are you feeling all right?"

"Y-yeah! Sure!" The man scampered off to complete his mission.

From around a corner, Scar watched the man he'd talked into helping him. Sure enough, the businessman stepped into a certain hotel and asked to have the flower bunch delivered to a certain W. Rockbell.

Scar nodded at the man once the mission was done. He couldn't show his face, not here... but he could show his sincere sentiments to that poor girl, and that would have to be good enough, ever since she'd learned who killed her parents.

He really hoped the girl would like those flowers.


	6. Chapter 6: Promotion

**My Fullmetal Drabble Collection**

 **by Ulquiorra9000**

 **Chapter 6: Promotion**

"Me? Of course I could do the Major General's job! Piece of cake!" Major Miles chuckled over his hot coffee in the break room at Briggs Fort with his fellows, but they fell into a frozen silence when the blonde Major General stepped in.

"Do tell, Miles?" Olivier said ever so sweetly.

Miles braced himself for punishment.

Olivier clapped a hand to his shoulder. "The job's yours! Congrats!"

One week later, Miles wearily dragged himself to Olivier's new office, his hair a mess, his body trembling.

"What's the matter, Briggs boss?" Olivier asked.

Miles bowed his head. "Please take your old job back! The paperwork, keeping the men in line, having to do that death glare you do... it's wearing me out! I'll go crazy!"

Olivier raised her eyebrows. "Lesson learned?"

"Y-yes, Major General!"

"Good. Then get out!"

Miles was happy to obey!


	7. Chapter 7: Humility

**My Fullmetal Drabble Collection**

 **by Ulquiorra9000**

 **Chapter 7: Humility**

"Hey! Hohenheim! What am I doing in _this_ thing?!"

The dwarf in the flask didn't like Hohenheim's sly grin as the man transferred him to a perfectly round ball...

"Nooooooooooo!" The homunculus wailed as Hohenheim sent him rolling through an obstacle course, over ramps (catching some serious air), through forests of sticks, along curvy chutes, and over open flames to the finish line! Then, Hohenheim went bowling with the flask (he even got a strike!) and rounded things off with a game of "homunculus baseball" with his friends.

"You... jerk..." the homunculus panted that evening. "What was all that for?!"

"Humans need their fun, you know," Hohenheim told him brightly. "It's how we stay sane." His face darkened. "And it doesn't hurt to remind you that you're just a dwarf in a flask."

The homunculus glared. Damn it all, this human had a point...


	8. Chapter 8: Clumsy

**My Fullmetal Drabble Collection**

 **by Ulquiorra9000**

 **Chapter 8: Clumsy**

This was his chance! Prince Ling of Xing made sure Foo's back was turned, then dressed up in Lanfan's spare uniform, put on her mask, and waltzed into the open Rush Valley marketplace. The sights! The sounds! The _people_! Through the mask's eyeholes, Ling drank in the wonders of Amestris, one trinket at a time... and one snack at a time... and one pretty girl at a time...

Ling jolted when he spotted Foo wandering the crowds, eyes alert. "Ling! Where did you go?!" the old man hollered.

 _Crap. Gotta get away!_ Ling tried to tiptoe away until he tripped over a dog and went sprawling.

Foo stalked over. "How dare you! I can't believe this!"

 _Busted!_ Ling thought.

Foo helped him up. "Lanfan, clumsiness will get you killed. Ling is counting on you!"

Ling nodded and managed to give Foo the slip once again.


	9. Chapter 9: Gamble

**My Fullmetal Drabble Collection**

 **by Ulquiorra9000**

 **Chapter 9: Gamble**

"Hell, yeah! The casino! I've been waiting for _this_!"

Greed had his hands in his pockets as he strolled into North City's biggest casino, with its flashing lights and chatty crowds... and excellent odds! But when Greed got his hands on the slots, they kept coming up dry. Stupid one-armed bandits! So he tried the Blackjack table. No luck! Bust every time! Poker? No good! Craps? Crap indeed! Roulette...?

"That's the last of yer money, boss," Martel complained. "Maybe we should split."

"No way!" Greed threw down his cash and let the wheel spin.

Ka-ching! Big money!

Greed waltzed out of the casino with his minions in tow, counting his cash. "You fools don't deserve any of this!" he growled. "Doubting me all evening..."

Then he saw their puppy eyes and relented. "Okay... enough to buy yourselves dinner."

Who was he to say no?


	10. Chapter 10: Formal

**My Fullmetal Drabble Collection**

 **by Ulquiorra9000**

 **Chapter 10: Formal**

Ed still couldn't figure out how Winry talked him and Al into going to a charity ball ... in Central, but he found himself at a high-end department store as Winry dreamily made her way through trying out different gowns, while Ed was stuffed into suits of all kinds... too many, actually!

"Okay, this one's good enough!" Ed announced as he stepped out of the changing room. "Seriously!"

"Well, _maybe_ we could try that other one -" Winry started, until Ed made a mortified face. Winry giggled from behind her hand as Ed blushed.

"Hang on... what about me?" Al wondered.

"I've got it!" Winry produced a red crest out of nowhere and fastened it onto Al's helmet head like he was a centurion.

"Nice. Goes with your _suit_ ," Ed said with a wide grin.

Winry nodded. "It sure does!"

Al sure didn't think so!


	11. Chapter 11: Floor

**My Fullmetal Drabble Collection**

 **by Ulquiorra9000**

 **Chapter 11: Floor**

Riza Hawkeye froze when she stepped into the army headquarters' meeting room and found the place emptied out. "Colonel!" she cried. "This is _not_ a proper use of army floor space!"

"Tell that to my putting average," Roy said with a wide grin as he putted his golf ball across the green carpet and into the hole.

And soon enough, all the other officers crowded in, competing for the best score, making a huge racket. Roy was pulling ahead, while 2nd Lieutenant Havoc (who was visiting) was breathing down Roy's neck -

The door slammed open and Fuhrer Bradley stormed in. "Men! Listen up!" he roared. Then he took a putter and swung it hard enough to sent the ball crashing out the window.

"I'm the best damned golfer in Amestris. Don't you all forget it!" Bradley declared, then walked out.

Roy decided that golf was _not_ his thing.


	12. Chapter 12: Treasure

**My Fullmetal Drabble Collection**

 **by Ulquiorra9000**

 **Chapter 12: Treasure**

Alphonse's headless armor body reviewed the treasure map that Ed had given him. "You've got to be joking, big brother!"

"Nope. Good luck!" Ed reclined on the patio chair, arms folded behind his head as Al clanked his way down the street and to a neighboring garden. The headless armor dug and dug at the spot marked by X... and returned with -

"An actual bucket?!" Al roared, the metal bucket on his shoulders. "This is taking 'bucket head' to a new level! You jerk!"

Ed burst out laughing. "You should see yourself! I - argh!"

Izumi threw open the back door and crammed the bucket over Ed's head. "See how you like it," she told him. "By the way, dinner is served."

The bucket stayed in place for a long time.


	13. Chapter 13: Weights

**My Fullmetal Drabble Collection**

 **by Ulquiorra9000**

 **Chapter 13: Weights**

Olivier pouted as her bare-chested little brother Alex kept lifting huge, heavy crates of army supplies over his head as a small crowd cheered and clapped. She could see the twinkles of happy light around his head!

"I need more weight! Must show off!" Alex grunted.

"Here, little brother." Olivier got a villainous gleam in her eyes when she loaded some boxes with lead bricks and handed them over.

Her jaw dropped when Alex lifted them with ease. "What the -?! Whoa!"

Alex scooped her up and had her sit atop a stack of boxes he was lifting. "You know," Olivier admitted as the crowd clapped, "once in a while, I'm kind of almost proud of you, Alex!"

Alex burst into tears. "You mean that, big sister? I'm so happy!"

Olivier pouted again.


	14. Chapter 14: Awaken

**My Fullmetal Drabble Collection**

 **by Ulquiorra9000**

 **Chapter 14: Awaken**

"Get up, Envy! You have a mission today!" Father barked, rousing Envy from bed in the secret underground lair.

Envy reluctantly emerged from under the sheets... and worst of all, Sloth was allowed to sleep late in his own room! Why not wake _him_ up? So, Envy put some huge spiders on Sloth to scare him awake... but it did no good.

The next morning, Envy did the same, and Sloth slumbered. And the next... and the next...

Once again, Envy was roused from bed, but this time, a horrible mummy wrapped in sheets of spider webs came shambling in, groaning! Envy shrieked and backed up to the wall.

"Sticky... webs... on my skin," the Sloth-mummy mumbled. "Too much work... to peel off..."

Envy let out a sigh of despair. His vengeful plan came to _this_?!


	15. Chapter 15: Dessert

**My Fullmetal Drabble Collection**

 **by Ulquiorra9000**

 **Chapter 15: Dessert**

Roy Mustang clapped his hands together in the army HQ's mess hall. "Attention! For variety's sake, tomorrow shall be a potluck lunch. Please bring your best cooking! I think we're all sick of 'chef's surprise' by now..." That earned him a few chuckles.

But the next day at lunchtime, Roy froze in horror. Salads, vegetable soups, and plain bread all around! Everyone else looked confused, too.

"Roy," Hawkeye said with a coy smile, "you forgot to coordinate and tell everyone what to bring!" Meanwhile, she set down her own contribution... a wonderful juicy steak!

Roy pounced, until Hawkeye held him back. "None for you until you finish your veggies, buster."

"What?!" Roy yelped. "That only applies to desserts!"

"Eat your veggies!"

"Fine!"


	16. Chapter 16: Pie

**My Fullmetal Drabble Collection**

 **by Ulquiorra9000**

 **Chapter 16: Pie**

"How much for pie, miss?"

"Ten cenz. Here you go!" WInry Rockbell cut another slice of her apple pie and handed it to the young child on a plate, and the kiddo scampered off with his snack. There were already four more kids in line, and a local gardener here in Resembool. Winry kept that smile on her face as she kept serving, and finally, just one slice was left.

Winry took the remainder home and found a week-old slice in the pantry. She threw it out and replaced it with this new one, with the usual note on it: "For Al."

"Okay. Maybe this time..." Winry sat by the window and watched evening fall over Resembool. Each time she did this for Al, it got a little easier to believe that he'd come back in his original body.

And, somehow, a little harder to believe, too.


	17. Chapter 17: Lantern

**My Fullmetal Drabble Collection**

 **by Ulquiorra9000**

 **Chapter 17: Lantern**

Ed scowled as he kept screwing up his Jack-O-Lantern, so he threw down his knife and clapped his hands together. "Everyone, watch this!"

Hawkeye looked up from her own pumpkin in horror. "Wait! Don't!"

Too late: with a flash of light, Ed fired up his alchemy... and his pumpkin exploded wetly all over Hawkeye, Roy, Winry, and Al in the garden where they were working.

"Don't do that again!" Roy snapped, and Ed nodded... then tried it again on a new pumpkin, with equal results!

Ed wondered why everyone was now towering over him with shovels... until he found himself buried in the garden dirt up to his neck, next to the finished Jack-O-Lanterns.

"Look at that," Roy commented. "We've got a talking Jack-O-Lantern!"

"Very funny," Ed snapped.

"His hair antenna's even like a pumpkin stem," Winry said with a giggle.

Ed huffed. "Still uncool, guys!"


	18. Chapter 18: Passion

**My Fullmetal Drabble Collection**

 **by Ulquiorra9000**

 **Chapter 18: Passion**

Private Sheska winced as one of the officers (she forgot his name again) bellowed at her for reading on the job. "We hired you into the records department to _work_! If you're gonna slack off, yer outta here!"

"Y-yes, sir!" Sheska winced harder as flecks of spit hit her. The officer grunted and stormed off. So, Sheska meekly returned to work, her books sadly unopened.

The next day, Sheska stared in surprise. In the back room of her office, a plush armchair was in place, with a cup of hot tea and a good book. And a note that read "Don't forget your passion. It keeps the fire in you alive. -RM"

Sheska beamed as she took a seat. "I owe you one, Roy!"


	19. Chapter 19: Toys

**My Fullmetal Drabble Collection**

 **by Ulquiorra9000**

 **Chapter 19: Toys**

"Hmmmm... yes. Alphonse had one of these when he was seven."

Van Hohenheim's wandering was never done, but he added a new dimension to it... he carried a sack of children's toys, one for Ed and Al for each year of their childhoods, from birth to the moment he'd walked out the door. He didn't even remember what inspired him to do this. He just... did it.

However, this town had an orphanage with a large donations bin at the front step, and before he knew what he was doing, Hohenheim emptied the toy sack into it and wandered out of town.

Something occurred to him... he wasn't metaphorically abandoning his sons again, was he?

No, of course not.


	20. Chapter 20: Alluring

**My Fullmetal Drabble Collection**

 **by Ulquiorra9000**

 **Chapter 20: Alluring**

"Winry, can you even afford these models?" Ed asked as he and Winry went window-shopping (again) in Rush Valley's bustling downtown.

"But... _look_ at them!" Winry salivated, her face pressed to a shop's display window. "11th-gen, XR-5 model arms, hyper-alloy internal bracings... a dream come true!"

Ed held up Winry's rather light purse. "Just a dream, unfortunately." He patted Winry's back gently.

"Yeah, I know..." Then Winry perked up. "I've got an idea! Follow me!"

She took him on a shopping trip for... a lamp, a faucet, half of a phone, and other odds and ends. The next morning, she emerged from her room... with a shiny new metal arm in her hands!

"Built from all those loose parts," she boasted. "See? I can _also_ combine old things into new!"

"It's not _technically_ alchemy..." Ed hesitated, then beamed. "But nice work."


	21. Chapter 21: School

**My Fullmetal Drabble Collection**

 **by Ulquiorra9000**

 **Chapter 21: School**

Roy sneaked ever so expertly down the hall, ready to prank the hell out of Maes, but...

"Gone? Again?!" Roy lowered his rubber chicken in disappointment and sighed. Then he spotted a trail of crumbs leading from Maes' office and down the hall! He rounded up Hawkeye for good measure and followed the trail across the street and down the block.

"I have work!" Hawkeye protested as Roy brought her along by the hand. "What if - huh?"

They found themselves at... a pre-school?

"MAES!" Roy roared when he stepped inside. Surrounded by kids, Maes froze halfway through his educational puppet show.

"Hi, Roy. I was just -"

"You're stayin' in HQ, you goofball," Roy grumbled, now dragging Maes along by the hand. "Starting with a time-out in the corner!"

"The punishment fits the crime," Maes commented lightly.


	22. Chapter 22: Both

**My Fullmetal Drabble Collection**

 **by Ulquiorra9000**

 **Chapter 22: Both**

"Oh, yeah! Having a full body again feels _great_!" Greed exclaimed as he parkoured his way through the frontier town, vaulting over walls, swinging from clothes lines, anything he wanted! Such fun!

"Hey, be careful with my body," Ling said from inside. "Seriously!"

"Oi, relax, kid. I'm indestructible. I can do anything I want!" Greed panted as he ran along a rooftop and sprang to the next. And at Ling's request, he finally returned to the small inn where Lanfan and Foo were waiting... but Foo wasn't there.

"We're finally alone, Ling," Lanfan said slyly, and she pinned Greed-Ling flat on the bed, running a trail of hot kisses down his cheek. "Just you and me - whoa!"

Greed went running, eyes wide. "Dammit, Ling!"

"Haha, tricked you!" Ling taunted him. "Lanfan totally has the hots for me, see?"

"Hey! I'm Greed, not Lust!"

"Humans can have both..."


	23. Chapter 23: Sneeze

**My Fullmetal Drabble Collection**

 **by Ulquiorra9000**

 **Chapter 23: Sneeze**

Kimblee couldn't believe it. Him, the king of the battlefield back at Ishval, hunting down Bradley's enemies... he had a stupid _head cold_?

"Stop right there, you!" The town chief of police and his men took aim at the wandering Crimson Lotus Alchemist. "You're not welcome here. I want you outta here!"

Kimblee wiped his nose. Totally undignified! "How comical that you raise your -" He sneezed loudly... and wetly! "R-raise your arms against me, the greatest alchemist to ever - oh, no -"

Just as he pressed his palms together to make a gorgeous fireball, Kimblee let out a whopper of a sneeze... and that, with the fire, launched him far out of town in a rush of flames like a rocket!

Kimblee groaned as he crashed to a halt in a tall tree outside town. _What do you know... the police chief got his wish!_


	24. Chapter 24: Students

**My Fullmetal Drabble Collection**

 **by Ulquiorra9000**

 **Chapter 24: Students**

Major General Olivier Armstrong sure as hell didn't appreciate Alex visiting here at Fort Briggs, from his vast food intake to his constant singing in the shower. But worst of all...

"Major General! Can you believe it?" Miles beamed as he intercepted her in the hallway, barechested. He did some bodybuilder poses with his new pecs and six-pack. "I'm at the height of male beauty!"

Olivier shielded her eyes, going red in the face. "Major Miles...!"

"Major General! Behold!" Captain Buccaneer joined them, and Olivier peeked between her fingers to see him posing the same way! "Alex has taught us so much! Truly, the king of men!"

Olivier could only let out an embarrassed squeak as every man in Fort Briggs showed off, disciples of the "great and manly" Alex Louis Armstrong.

This place sure _used_ to stand for something!


	25. Chapter 25: Punishment

**My Fullmetal Drabble Collection**

 **by Ulquiorra9000**

 **Chapter 25: Punishment**

"No! Ed! _Al_! You're doing this all wrong!" Izumi Curtis roared at the brothers when they had visited her home. They took this chance to train and spar some more, but their technique... so sloppy...!

"Sorry, teacher!" Ed told her meekly. "We'll try harder."

So the brothers resumed sparring... until they got tangled up like fools and fell over.

"That's it! Report to my husband for punishment!" Izumi barked. "Move!"

Ed and Al warily went inside, thinking of how beefy Sig Curtis was. Would he pummel them senseless...?

Then they found him sitting at a Go board. "Play some games with me!" he said merrily. "Until the sun sets!"

"Huh?" Al wondered.

Izumi peeked in. "See, Elric kids? It's so boring to play!"

Sig comically burst into tears. "Honey, please stop using my hobby as a punishment for others!"

Ed merely rolled his eyes.


	26. Chapter 26: Gray

**My Fullmetal Drabble Collection**

 **by Ulquiorra9000**

 **Chapter 26: Gray**

Ed got a rude surprise when he woke up during his visit at the Rockbells'. He howled with horror until Al came clanking in. "Big brother! What's wrong?"

"L-look..." Ed held out... a gray hair! "I'm going to crap, Al! My lifespan is almost up! It's so... so..."

Al realized the truth and decided to have fun. "Short?" he teased.

"NOOOOOO!" Ed sprang out of bed and spent all day doing situps! Cardio! Eating salds! Meditation! Even drinking milk! Anything to revitalize his dying body and live longer.

Pinako happened by. "What's Ed up to?" she wondered.

"I got a gray hair," Ed told her. "Can't waste my health!"

Pinako saw the hair. "Silly boy. You used my pillow by mistake. That's _my_ hair!"


	27. Chapter 27: Driver

**My Fullmetal Drabble Collection**

 **by Ulquiorra9000**

 **Chapter 27: Driver**

"Man, that town is so far away," Envy whined as he, Lust, and Sloth received their newest scouting mission. "How are we gonna get there?"

"Here!" Lust beamed and motioned to a shiny new car Father had provided.

"Cool," Envy said. "But who's driving?"

He was _not_ happy when Sloth got behind the wheel, trundling down Central's streets at a snail's pace. Cars bunched up behind them, honking.

"Hey, youy drive like a granny!" Envy roared. "Hurry up!"

"Pressing gas pedal harder... is too much work," Sloth mumbled.

"I've got a solution," Lust announced. "Pull over."

She came back with a bonnet, handbag, and reader glasses and put them on Sloth. "There!" she said happily. "Now, at least Sloth looks the part!"

"I should've taken a cab," Envy muttered.


	28. Chapter 28: Treat

**My Fullmetal Drabble Collection**

 **by Ulquiorra9000**

 **Chapter 28: Treat**

"Man, I'm famished," Envy whined as he and Greed wandered through a town in the east during a scouting mission. "You've got the money, right? Treat us!"

"No way," Greed argued. He made a toothy grin. "I'd rather treat one of the gorgeous ladies around here and make her _mine_. She'd follow and serve my will anywhere!" He pointed at one such lovely lady.

"Jerk. I'm going on ahead!"

Greed waltzed right up to the young woman and, ever so gentlemanly, treated her to a fantastic lunch. "So," he said, once he finished dessert, "how'd you like to join my crew? You could see the world with me!"

The woman let off lightning-like power and reverted to Envy. "Lead the way, buddy," he said with a sly grin, heading off.

Greed hung his head. One day, he'd get a proper posse... and not get duped so easily!


	29. Chapter 29: Accomodations

**My Fullmetal Drabble Collection**

 **by Ulquiorra9000**

 **Chapter 29: Accomodations**

Olivier Armstrong spread her arms wide and turned in a circle in the Armstrong family mansion's dining hall. Finally! This place was hers... not that she really needed it. At least kicking her little brother's butt felt pretty good.

Feeling vaguely nostalgic, Olivier visited one of the spare bedrooms. Everything here was untouched. She remembered Alex insisting on patching her up in here after she sprained her arm as a kid, and how he once helped her climb into this room after she was accidentlly locked out in a rainstorm.

Evening was falling. People needed a place to rest by now. Olivier hesitated, then picked up the phone. Okay, just for this _once_.

"Alex?" she said. "Yeah, it's me. Free room for tonight. No questions."

She slammed down the receiver. There, nice and crisp. To the point.

She can't get _too_ soft, right?


	30. Chapter 30: Arrows

**My Fullmetal Drabble Collection**

 **by Ulquiorra9000**

 **Chapter 30: Arrows**

Riza Hawkeye made a nervous smile as she picked up the bow and arrow in the farm house's backyard. "Are you sure about this, 2nd Lieutenant Havoc?"

Jean nodded, arms folded over his rustic farm boy shirt. "It's the best way to hunt for dinner 'round these parts, Riza. Come on, relax! Go ahead and hit the target."

"What a waste of time," Ed commented, reclining in a hammock as Al and Roy watched Riza take aim. "Hunt for food? Just order something!"

Hawkeye's arms trembled, and she released the arrow. But it went wide, and it bounced off the tractor, ricocheted off the weather vane, was deflected off Roy's car, and grazed Ed's ear.

"Yow!" Ed cried, leaping up. "Watch where you aim!"

Hawkeye giggled. "Then why don't you try it?"

"You'll take someone's eye out, Ed," Al warned him.

Ed sighed. "Probably!"


	31. Chapter 31: Strum

**My Fullmetal Drabble Collection**

 **by Ulquiorra9000**

 **Chapter 31: Strum**

Pinako creaked open the door to Ed's borrowed bedroom at the Rockbell house. "Edward? What's that horrible racket?" She wrinkled her nose.

Ed went red as he set down his banjo. "I'm _trying_ to make some good music here," he snapped, sitting at the edge of his bed. "I need peace and quiet!"

"Well, you're not giving it to the rest of us," Pinako said with a sly smile.

"Sh-shut up! I really wanna impress Winry - oh." He realized he'd let slip the truth! Double embarrassing!

Pinako gently took the banjo and strummed expertly, nodding her head to the rhythm. "Feel free to start a band, Edward," she said. "But first, some lessons. You don't mind an old lady teaching you?"

Ed reclined and took in the music. "Not at all."


	32. Chapter 32: Support

**My Fullmetal Drabble Collection**

 **by Ulquiorra9000**

 **Chapter 32: Support**

"Seriously, what _is_ that noise?" Roy snapped, throwing down his pen in irritation in Central's HQ. No one answered him, but then Maes Hughes happened by.

"Captain Hughes!" Roy barked.

"Yeeeeees?" Maes answered in that annoying sing-song voice of his. "Did you want to see my daughter's new vacation photos?"

Roy pointed down. "There's a racket at the sidewalk down there. Investigate!"

Humming to himself, Maes found the source... that fullmetal kid, Ed, practicing on his banjo at the street corner. Everyone scowled at him.

"You need support, Ed! Backup!" Maes said. He got a metal trash can and two sticks together and started drumming with the music.

Ed nodded to the beat. "Nice. Hey... how'd you like to start a band?"


	33. Chapter 33: Name

**My Fullmetal Drabble Collection**

 **by Ulquiorra9000**

 **Chapter 33: Name**

Roy twanged his bass guitar later that evening with Ed and Maes at the street corner and sighed with amusement. "Look, fullmetal brat, Maes... you guys need a bassist. That's me. I can play a mean guitar if I want."

Maes made a funny smile. "And here I thought you were all work and no play, Roy, my boy!"

"Don't call me that," Roy bit back. He relaxed. "Okay, I can launch this band off the ground... but we need a name."

"Edward, what are you passionate about? What do you desire?" Maes asked.

Ed's stomach rumbled as he smelled the wonderful scents from the restaurant across the street. He toyed with his banjo's strings. "Mmmmmmm... grilled steaks..."

"It's decided!" Maes announced way too loudly. "We shall be Grilled Steaks, the world's best street band!"

"Even 'Roy the Boy' is better than that..." Roy muttered. Too late now!


	34. Chapter 34: Sheep

**My Fullmetal Drabble Collection**

 **by Ulquiorra9000**

 **Chapter 34: Sheep**

It didn't take Ed and Al long to regret bringing Ling and his fellows to Resembool for sight-seeing.

"Whooaaaa, it's so rustic and peaceful out here!" Ling howled with joy, twirling with his arms wide atop a pasture's hill.

"Young lord! You're exposed up there!" Foo cried.

"Relax, guys. It's so nice here. And look! Sheeps!" Ling sprinted and vaulted over a wooden fence, petting the woolly creatures with wonder.

"It's _sheep_ , you creep!" Ed barked.

Lanfan made a face. "Being his bodyguard gets tiring," she admitted to the Elrics.

Ed had to agree when he was woken up that evening with over twenty sheep crammed into his bedroom. "What the hell!"

"Count them so you can get to sleep," Ling said, patting a sheep's head. "Ready? One... two... three... I'm getting sleepy already!"


	35. Chapter 35: Subject

**My Fullmetal Drabble Collection**

 **by Ulquiorra9000**

 **Chapter 35: Subject**

Ed finally got together again with Roy and Maes for rehearsal on the front steps of Central HQ. "Okay, I think we've got our sound pinned down," Ed said. "Now we gotta write some songs. I'm gonna sing 'em."

"Not me?" Maes cried. "I have a wonderful falsetto that I can -"

"Drummers don't sing!" Ed retorted. "Look, let's start playing, and I'll improvise. Ready, go!"

Passing people stopped and listened in fascination, but there were no words. "Sing, fullmetal boy!" Roy told him.

"Okay, uh..." Ed swallowed. "When high noon comes, and you've gotta get lunch, there's nothing you can beat, except steak you can eat!"

The audience clapped as Maes burst out laughing. "So that's our subject matter!" he chuckled. "Good food! I should grill some steak for my family dinner tonight!"

Ed groaned. "Why do I keep thinking with my stomach?!"


	36. Chapter 36: Swim

**My Fullmetal Drabble Collection**

 **by Ulquiorra9000**

 **Chapter 36: Swim**

Al definitely understimated his metal strength when he threw the Frisbee for Den, Winry's dog, and the disc flew over the wide creek near Resembool and landed on the opposite shore. Den whined.

"Hang on, I'll get it." Ed shrugged off his red coat and dived in, then sank! He scrambled onto the shore. "Al, you do it."

"Me? I'm even worse!" Al yelped. "Just alchemize -"

"Pinako forbade it, to keep this place beautiful and natural," Ed reminded him. "So... what do we do?"

Al glanced at Den. "Well..."

Five minutes later, Ed sat atop Al like a raft as Den swam along, dragging the boat-Al along with gusto.

"Ha! He's weighed down by automail like you, Ed, but is a way better swimmer," Al teased.

Ed scowled. "Whatever!"


	37. Chapter 37: Vulgar

**My Fullmetal Drabble Collection**

 **by Ulquiorra9000**

 **Chapter 37: Vulgar**

"You god-damned son of a -!" Roy grated as he crossed out another error on his paperwork. He was halfway through a massive pile of paperwork without a break, and darn it, he'd never become president if he couldn't get stuff like this done! He muttered more vile curses as he started on another paper.

Maes walked by the office door, making an imploring face. "Roy, please don't curse!"

"Why the hell not?!"

Elicia appeared. "Because it's take your daughter to work day, remember?" Maes said gently.

Roy sighed. "Sorry. Young miss, this work is a gosh-darned, flippin'-flappin', pain in my, uh cheek!"

Later, Maes took pity. "Okay, the kids are gone," he said, shutting the office door. "Let it all out, pal."

Roy took a deep breath. "This paperwork is the most -!"

Maes blacked out after the first profanity.


	38. Chapter 38: Growth

**My Fullmetal Drabble Collection**

 **by Ulquiorra9000**

 **Chapter 38: Growth**

"Why, Ed, are you growing your first whiskers? Adorable!"

Izumi Curtis has the most annoying, motherly tone when Ed and Al visited her in Dublith, and she patted Ed's cheek. "Why, you're growing right up!"

Ed drew back. "Come on, I could grow a rockin' beard if I wanted."

Al giggled. "Even in this metal body, I could grow more whiskers than you!"

"My husband Sig will be the judge," Izumi told them. "Ed, come back in a week and we'll see what's what!"

Ed made a beeline for Alex Armstrong and borrowed... well, some manly tonic or other. Seven days later, he proudly showed Sig Curtis his manly beard.

"Ed has done it!" Sig declared. "Truly, a heroic man of great power!"

"Oh, it was nothing," Ed said with false modesty that annoyed everyone. "Why, I - NO!"

The whiskers fell out.

Stupid, cheap testosterone tonic!


	39. Chapter 39: Quiet

**My Fullmetal Drabble Collection**

 **by Ulquiorra9000**

 **Chapter 39: Quiet**

Even in her sleepwear, Olivier Armstrong was terrifying when she slammed open the break room door in Briggs Fort. "Keep it down, you monkeys, or I'll shove icicles in all your brains!" she roared.

Miles, Buccaneer, and the rest hastened to obey.

Olivier relaxed in bed again. Now, she could hear the desolate, cold wind whistling outside, and the occasional shift of snow on the fort's slopes and eaves. That, and the groaning of pipes, the rumble of the furnaces... Briggs Fort breathed. It was alive. But so were the people.

"Okay, guys," Olivier said, peeking in the break room where the officers sat in frightened silence. "Just keep it down to a dull roar. Good enough for me."


	40. Chapter 40: Toy

**My Fullmetal Drabble Collection**

 **by Ulquiorra9000**

 **Chapter 40: Toy**

"This was such a wonderful idea, Ed, my boy!" Maes Hughes said with delight as he, Ed, and Roy played a charity concert as the Grilled Steaks in the Central park. The twangy, country-like music drew in the crowds and blankets, canned food, and toys were donated in the large bin to donate to orphanages.

Roy nodded as he played bass. "I know, right? This gives a positive image of the Grilled Steaks that I can build on... I'll be president in no time!"

"This isn't about ambition, Roy," Maes reminded him.

Soon, though, the donations dried up. No more toys! So, Ed clapped his hands together and alchemized some more out of wood and scrap metal... things like demon dolls, bouncy-ball skulls, and horned battle helmets for tykes.

"Yikes, Ed," Maes said. "Who would play with these?"

"I would," Ed said proudly.

Maes shivered.


	41. Chapter 41: Towering

**My Fullmetal Drabble Collection**

 **by Ulquiorra9000**

 **Chapter 41: Towering**

Scar muscled his way through another anonymous town as he headed north, and it seemed like everyone had petty problems as he passed them by. What did they know of real suffering?!

Still...

Scar found himself reaching up and retrieving a distressed calico cat stuck in a tree branch and handed it to the girl who cried its name, then fixed the wheel that broke off a vegetable cart, and helped fit some new windows into an old lady's house, and caught a purse thief...

"What a kind man!" a shopowner said as Scar moved on. "I didn't see his face, though, with that hood on... he must be a swell fellow!"

"I don't need payment," Scar said, towering over the other people as he exited the town.

He was big... but not too big to notice a few others along the way, perhaps.


	42. Chapter 42: Encouragement

**My Fullmetal Drabble Collection**

 **by Ulquiorra9000**

 **Chapter 42: Encouragement**

"Whoa! This place... it's like a whole world in one city!" Ling Yao exclaimed as he walked Central's busy sidewalks. Flower shops, restaurants, mechanic workshops, sports fields, office buildings... what a place!

Foo got an idea. "Master Ling," he said, "why not take Lan Fan out on the town? Show her around?"

"Oh, I dunno," Ling said, going pink. "I just wanna find a good cafe with meat and doughnuts and stuff!"

Foo sighed. "Lan Fan, meet me back at the apartment at 6:00. I've got an errand..."

At 6:00 that evening, Lan Fan gasped with delight when she spotted the expensive flower bouquet and love note on her bedside table at the group's hotel. "Ling!" she cried. "They're wonderful!"

"Th-that wasn't me!" Ling babbled.

"Well, sure it was," Foo said. " _Right_?"

"Oh..." Ling perked up.

That dense prince actually seemed to get it!


	43. Chapter 43: Accomplice

**My Fullmetal Drabble Collection**

 **by Ulquiorra9000**

 **Chapter 43: Accomplice**

"Man, I'm exhausted," Ed said, collapsing into a seat backstage after the Grilled Steaks sold out at a music club in Central's thriving downtown. "Nonstop touring... is this why some musicians turn to the hard stuff?"

"Not funny, kid," Roy said, scowling as he tuned his show-worn bass.

"I just like to think we have perfect charisma!" Maes said happily as he took his drum set apart.

Al clanked in. "Hey, guys -" he started.

Ed snapped shut his banjo's carrying case. "Not now, little bro. I'm beat."

"But -"

"C'mon..."

Roy jolted. "Al? You brought Riza?"

"Hi," Hawkeye said, beaming. "Guess what? I've been setting up your shows! I invited myself as your manager and promoter of the Grilled Steaks!"

"Nice. Thanks," Roy said, blushing. "You're our accomplice!"

Hawkeye made a face. "I'd better not regret this..."


	44. Chapter 44: Unarmed

**My Fullmetal Drabble Collection**

 **by Ulquiorra9000**

 **Chapter 44: Unarmed**

Van Hohenheim halted his travels in a chilly northern town when a lean man intercepted him, pistol in hand, a bag in the other. "Hands up, geezer!" he barked. "All yer goods in the bag. Now! Watch, jewelry, cash, all of it!"

Other pedestrians gave them a wide berth as Hohenheim put his hands up. "I'm unarmed," he stated.

"Yeah, I can see that!" the mugger snapped. "Hand it all over!"

Quick as lightning, Hohenheim darted forth and, using barehanded arts, disabled the man and kicked away the pistol. "But not defenseless," Hohenheim added.

"H-have mercy!" the mugger yelped, pinned under Hohenheim's foot.

Hohenheim dropped a 100-cenz coin and walked off. "Some people think that one bit of power changes them," he muttered. "If only they'd seen as many thing as I have, and made the same mistakes..."

The next would-be mugger learned the same lesson.


	45. Chapter 45: Borrow

**My Fullmetal Drabble Collection**

 **by Ulquiorra9000**

 **Chapter 45: Borrow**

Captain Buccaneer held his Crocodile automail defensively to his chest. "No way, Major Miles!" he cried. "This is my baby! My one and only!"

"Just for a bit," Miles insisted.

"You don't even have an automail slot on your body!"

Miles grinned. "The engineers can fix that..."

Five minutes later, Major Miles hollered in terror as he wielded the borrowed Crocodile, and not even the retrofitted control panel could tame it. Miles stumbled his way into the kitchens, and the Crocodile's metal teeth sheared all the beef and pork into perfect slices. The chefs cheered.

Miles dropped the Crocodile and collapsed, panting. "Now I see why automail should only be controlled by nerves and the brain!"

Major General Armstrong wandered in. "Lesson learned, Miles," she said. "Whoa... good work! We should have grilled steaks tonight!"

Grilled steaks? Miles knew that name from somewhere...


	46. Chapter 46: Ghost

**My Fullmetal Drabble Collection**

 **by Ulquiorra9000**

 **Chapter 46: Ghost**

Night fell in Eastern City as Envy, Sloth, and Lust continued their scouting mission for Father. "I've heard legends of this place," Envy said, shivering as the streets emptied out and a wind picked up.

"Like _what_?" Lust said, wrinkling her nose.

"The tormented dead don't rest. They stalk the living!" Envy said dramatically.

"That's the dumbest -" Lust began, until a white form flew overhead!

"Just a bird caught in a laundered bedsheet," Lust commented.

Then another white sheet drifted on the wind... and landed right on Sloth. The huge homunculus groaned and stumbled forward.

Envy turned and beheld a huge, moaning ghost stalking him! "Nooooooo! Why?!" He dived into a Dumpster for cover.

Lust giggled as she tore the sheet off. "If that were a real ghost, you wouldn't stand a chance, Envy!"

How did Sloth keep terrifying him like this?!


	47. Chapter 47: Victory

**My Fullmetal Drabble Collection**

 **by Ulquiorra9000**

 **Chapter 47: Victory**

Pride, in his human child form of Selim Bradley, narrowed his eyes when Gluttony returned to the hideout with yet _another_ trophy for an eating contest.

"Isn't that shooting fish in a barrel?" Envy said.

"It's mine. I like it!" Gluttony said, raising it high. "No one can beat me!"

Pride stepped forward. "I challenge you!"

The other homunculi and Father gathered to watch as Pride and Gluttony sat at a table loaded with hot dogs. "Ready... go!" Father cried.

Gluttony showing his amazing eating power... but Pride used his shadow-mouths to devour even more, and he beat Gluttony's total by 1! Victory!

Later, however, Selim Bradley groaned and lay in bed, hands on his belly. "You overdid it, didn't you?" Wrath said, peeking in the room.

"Doesn't matter. I... beat him," Pride wheezed. "V-victory... oh, this doesn't feel right..."


	48. Chapter 48: Discovery

**My Fullmetal Drabble Collection**

 **by Ulquiorra9000**

 **Chapter 48: Discovery**

Private Sheska was happy enough at her record-keeping job at Central HQ, but darn it, old habits, and old love, die hard! Roy Mustang encouraged "private indulgences" with a wink and grin, and...

"Maybe I should stop," Sheska wondered out loud as she browsed an "A-F" dictionary. She found a list of food plants that grew in Amestris, including this "cacao" bean, but what was it? She looked it up in another book, and her eyes widened. "NO WAY!"

Maria Ross hurried in. "Are you okay?" she cried. "Did something happen?"

Sheska pointed at the book's diagram, trembling. "It's the cacao bean that makes chocolate. It looks so... _gross_! I'm never eating chocolate again! Ugh!"

Five minutes later, Maria Ross returned... with a tray of assorted truffles! So alluring!

Sheska tentatively took one. "This changes nothing!"

Maria only smiled.


	49. Chapter 49: Aromatic

**My Fullmetal Drabble Collection**

 **by Ulquiorra9000**

 **Chapter 49: Aromatic**

"Hmmmmmm... no, not this one, either." Ling Yao scowled and set aside the cologne sample bottle in an East City department store with Jean Havoc.

Havoc chuckled as he clapped Ling on the back. "C'mon, buddy, we've been here for an hour! Can't make up your mind?"

"B-but..." Ling swallowed. "I've gotta impress Lan Fan, and her grandfather is a scary guy... what if I screw this up? I gotta smarten up for our first date!"

"Try this one," Jean said brightly, offering a new bottle. "Like an apple orchard. Country boys are irresistible!"

"Mmmmmmm... apples..." Ling salivated, and he took a swig of the cologne.

What a surprise. He choked and gagged on it!

"It ain't apple cider, partner. Take it easy." Jean scratched his head and glanced away. And he thought _he_ had trouble keeping a lady!


	50. Chapter 50: Imitation

**My Fullmetal Drabble Collection**

 **by Ulquiorra9000**

 **Chapter 50: Imitation**

Van Hohenheim snorted as he saw a promotional poster for that new country band, Grilled Steaks, at a town a few miles outside Central City. What did Ed know about the rural life and its woes? Hohenheim has been all 'round these parts!

"Ooohhh, I been 'round, yeah I been 'round and 'round and lived this country _liiiiiife..._ " Hohenheim bought a slot at the town's pub and sat on a stool, singing loudly as he twanged his acoustic guitar. "I let my heart and soul soar in these open skies, oh yeah-eah! Whoooooo!"

He winced when the crowd booed and threw all kinds of stuff at him. Retreat! Hohenheim used his guitar case as a shield as he exited, and he trudged down the road. Maybe he'd catch a Grilled Steaks show sometime and see what sonny boy Ed was doing right...


	51. Chapter 51: Industrious

**My Fullmetal Drabble Collection**

 **by Ulquiorra9000**

 **Chapter 51: Industrious**

Garfiel peeked from around the doorframe in his automail shop. "Winry, darling, you've been working nonstop! Why not a quick little vacation, hmmmm?"

Winry set her goggles on her forehead and looked up from her newest project. "Can't, sir," she said brightly. "I'm working on a commission! This arm is my finest yet."

"I see, I see." Garfiel pointed at the back door. "Oh, I thought I saw a shady figure. Please check for me?"

Winry went outside, but then, Garfiel shut and locked the door. "Take the day off, sweetheart!" he said through the door.

Winry sighed and lay in the grass under a tree, her hands absent-mindedly wandering, fiddling with grass...

She looked down and saw the miniature automail arm she'd woven from grass. Winry smiled. Such a hard worker she was!


	52. Chapter 52: Tailor

**My Fullmetal Drabble Collection**

 **by Ulquiorra9000**

 **Chapter 52: Tailor**

Stupid... sewing... kit! Ed couldn't wrangle with Pinako's electronic sewing machine, so he tried threads and needles to sew up his torn red jacket. Almost there...

 _Rip!_ Ed tore a new seam trying to reach around to sew the old tear, so with his teeth bared, he looped the thread around to sew up both, but tore another hole, and kept threading the needle around and around -

"Winry! Help, please?" Ed stumbled into the living room, tangled up like an old marionette. He tripped and fell in a confused heap.

Winry giggled as she knelt to help untie him. "Are you jealous that Al doesn't have this much upkeep?"

"Don't even remind me..."


	53. Chapter 53: Iron

**My Fullmetal Drabble Collection**

 **by Ulquiorra9000**

 **Chapter 53: Iron**

"So, Ling... did you have a nice afternoon like I did?" Lan Fan said coyly, rubbing her shoulder on Ling's as they walked through Central City's public park late that afternoon.

"Sure did," Ling said, whistling as he strutted along.

"Today feels pretty... _special_ , doesn't it?" Lan Fan blushed.

"Uh, I guess." Ling scratched his head.

Lan Fan made an irritated noise. "Why are you so dense?! You're like iron! Nothing gets through!"

"Whoa!" Ling winced. "What did I do wrong?"

"Okay, here..." Lan Fan smiled, picked a flower, and handed it to her prince. "Do you like it?"

"Huh? But boys are supposed to give these to girls." Ling fiddled with it in his hands. "But still... thanks."

Lan Fan smiled wider.


	54. Chapter 54: Hide

**My Fullmetal Drabble Collection**

 **by Ulquiorra9000**

 **Chapter 54: Hide**

Hide and Seek wasn't over yet! Ed dashed through East City's busy streets. He was _sure_ that his wily brother was around here somewhere! How long could someone that big and clanky hide?

Ed followed his intuition into an armor shop, and he spotted several models identical to Al's along the wall. "Got you now!" He clapped his hands together and impaled one with alchemic spikes from the floor.

One of the other suits pointed and laughed. "You missed, big brother! Oh..." Al realized his mistake, and right after that, the shopkeeper stomped over.

"Get outta here! Now!" he roared.

Both brothers booked it. Game over!


	55. Chapter 55: Rays

**My Fullmetal Drabble Collection**

 **by Ulquiorra9000**

 **Chapter 55: Rays**

Olivier Armstrong knew that something was off as she lay on a towel on the sunny lake's sandy shore here in the southern region of Amestris. That damned sun! Her two-piece bathing suit exposed her to the dreadful sunrays!

Alex happened by, attracting all the ladies' attention in his swim shorts. "How are you, big sister? How do you like this vacation spot?"

"Hmmmmmm... we need ice. Be right back." Olivier packed up her stuff, and eventually, Alex found her lounging happily in the town's walk-in freezer, on her towel with shades on.

"What's going on here?" Alex wondered.

"I'm catching cold rays!" Olivier told him.

"But... there's no such thing."

"Close enough for me." Oliver sipped her Bahama Mama.

"Truly, the Snow Queen of Briggs..."


	56. Chapter 56: Basket

**My Fullmetal Drabble Collection**

 **by Ulquiorra9000**

 **Chapter 56: Basket**

Riza Hawkeye beamed proudly as he fellow officers gathered in Central City HQ's indoor gym. "Okay, I call this game 'basket ball'. Here are the rules..."

As referee, Riza watched the exciting game unfold... until Ed caught the round orange ball, rode on Al's towering shoulders, and made an easy slam dunk!

"No fair!" Jean Havoc panted.

"Come and catch us!" Ed taunted.

"Get the ball, big brother!" Al cried. "Let's dunk again!"

And they did... and again, and again! The Elric brothers' team clobbered the other, 102 to 34.

Riza stared, dumbfounded, as Roy walked past her, clapping a hand on her shoulder. "Gee, what a fantastic game this is..." He sauntered off.

"Darn it." Riza scratched her head as the Elrics celebrated. "I may have to plug some holes in the rules..."


	57. Chapter 57: Zoo

**My Fullmetal Drabble Collection**

 **by Ulquiorra9000**

 **Chapter 57: Zoo**

Ed strummed his banjo while sitting on a stool at the Eastern City Zoo. "I, uh... I'm a-twangin' my banjo, gonna make music all day, animals gather 'round me, it's gonna be okay, yeah!"

"Hooray!" Assembled kids and their parents clapped and cheered, but Ed had an imaginary thundercloud over his head as the Grilled Steaks performed live... for free, for kids and families.

After the show, Riza Hawkeye clapped and beamed. "Good show! That was wonderful, guys!"

"Happy to help," Maes said brightly.

"Same," Roy added.

Ed kicked a loose pebble. "This isn't right. It doesn't fit my cool, irreverent vibe and wistful aura."

Riza patted his head. "Your band needs a positive image and publicity, you know."

"But..." Ed sputtered. "It's not _cool_ enough! I'm a rock star!"

"And _I'm_ your manager," Riza reminded him. "Checkmate!"

Maes did a rimshot for good measure.


	58. Chapter 58: Magic

**My Fullmetal Drabble Collection**

 **by Ulquiorra9000**

 **Chapter 58: Magic**

Against Ed's recommendation, Al stopped at a small northern town to put on... a magic show?

"Come one, come all!" Al announced, arms wide. "Be amazed as I perform extraordinary feats of magic!"

A crowd gathered as Al started doing card tricks. He somehow guessed a man's card, then found a woman's correct card hidden in his helmet! Everyone clapped and asked to volunteer next. And just for good measure, Al pulled a rabbit out of his helmet and it hopped away.

Ed he held a top hat upside down for donations, but by the show's end, he could only show Al a few measly cenz in there.

Al groaned. "That won't even buy you a sandwich!"

"No kidding." Ed put the top hat on as the brothers trudged off. "That show and the donations didn't feel like an equivalent exchange to me..."


	59. Chapter 59: Business

**My Fullmetal Drabble Collection**

 **by Ulquiorra9000**

 **Chapter 59: Business**

Winry wandered into the town neighboring Rush Valley. Her mission from Garfiel: rake in new customers as his sales rep! But to boost efficiency, she had to...

"Girls! You will be Winry Rockbell, representing Garfiel's automail shop," Winry told the assembled town girls who most resembled her. "And... go!"

By sunset, the lookalikes returned with customer requests for overnight deliveries of advanced automail arms and legs... way too many, actually!

"I'll never get them all done!" Winry said in horror, clutching her face. Then a lightbulb came on in her head. She smiled. "Hey, girls... how'd you all like to learn automail engineering?"


	60. Chapter 60: Diary

**My Fullmetal Drabble Collection**

 **by Ulquiorra9000**

 **Chapter 60: Diary**

When Lan Fan left the hotel room for a mission, Ling snuck into her diary, just for a quick peek, no harm done... and beheld her sketch of the both of them together under an umbrella, hands together, hearts everywhere! Whoa!

Without realizing what he was doing, Ling got a pencil and touched up the drawing, adding a few details. There! Perfect! He hastily put the diary back.

"Ling! I can tell you looked in here!" Lan Fan cried later that evening, red in the face as she held up her diary.

"I-I'm sorry!"

She gently slapped a hand across his cheek. "That's for peeking!" she told him. Then she relaxed, leaned closer, and kissed the same cheek. "And _that's_ for helping with my lovely drawing."


	61. Chapter 61: Birthday

**My Fullmetal Drabble Collection**

 **by Ulquiorra9000**

 **Chapter 61: Birthday**

"Ed! I just got off the train. It's so nice to see you!" Winry waved hello as she walked into Central City's HQ mess hall with her visitor badge, and Ed casually waved hi back.

"What's up?" Ed asked through a mouthful of sandwich.

Then he saw the expectant look on Winry's face. _Today is her birthday!_

"I'll be right back!" Ed tore through HQ and grabbed the first box he found, the one sitting on his office's desk. He dashed back to the mess hall and gave it to Winry. "There. For your birthday."

"Thanks! Uh... your new coat?" Winry unwrapped a new red coat of Ed's style from the box.

Ed thought fast. "Yeah. To remind you of how we're always together in spirit."

Winry put it on, then embraced Ed tight. "There. Now it smells like you, too! Perfect!"

Hard to argue with that!


	62. Chapter 62: Casual

**My Fullmetal Drabble Collection**

 **by Ulquiorra9000**

 **Chapter 62: Casual**

A heat wave gripped Amestris' central region, and Fuhrer Bradley made an announcement. "To allow more heat-friendly clothes, every day is casual Friday until further notice."

Everyone jumped at the chance! Jean Havoc threw on his T-shirt and denim overalls, Maria Ross looked stunning in her light blouse and skirt, and Roy relaxed in his cargo shorts, leather sandals, and loose, colorful shirt, parted over his tank top. Summer felt cooler already!

Then Alex Armstrong burst in, showing off his biceps... in only his bright red speedo!

The women ran away screaming while Roy stared at Alex, unable to look away from his train wreck of a friend. "T-too casual!" Roy choked out.

It didn't take long for Bradley to cancel casual Friday.


	63. Chapter 63: Motionless

**My Fullmetal Drabble Collection**

 **by Ulquiorra9000**

 **Chapter 63: Motionless**

Solf Kimblee, the Red Lotus Alchemist. He was a free spirit, a loose spark in the tinderbox of a world as he wound his way north, past anonymous towns, through train stations, past faceless crowds. He kept his feet pounding on the ground, the wind on his face.

He couldn't stop moving.

Every night, he awoke again and again, moonlight tickling him through the window. It didn't burn like the sun, just a pale imitation.

It was the same as him. He'd been trapped in a cell, so long, his fires dulled... his spirit bound. He'd been motionless in that cell for so long, squeezing his mind in a vise...!

Kimblee found himself moving just as much at night as day, heading north, that free spark.

Keep moving. Keep burning.

Was he going crazy? Maybe it was better that way. Dull the memory of painful stillness.


	64. Chapter 64: Inspiration

**My Fullmetal Drabble Collection**

 **by Ulquiorra9000**

 **Chapter 64: Inspiration**

Ed sat glumly with Roy, Maes, and Riza Hawkeye in the studio of Amestris' most popular radio talk show for an interview with the host. Roy and Maes were plenty chatty, but Ed... he could tell this wasn't right somehow.

"So, the Grilled Steaks has become a real kids' entertainment group," the host said.

"It sure has," Roy said, and Riza gave an approving nod.

Maes threw his hands up. "I can't take this! Edward Elric started this band as his passion project! He was inspired to make music by his real love... food! Grilled steaks!"

"There we have it," the host said. "Passion in the music! And... steaks..."

Hawkeye smiled when the show was over. "Okay, you've got a point, Ed," she said. "You started the Grilled Steaks on a casual whim... prepare for more whimsical, upredictable work, boys!"

She had a devilish look that chilled Ed's bones!


	65. Chapter 65: Occupy

**My Fullmetal Drabble Collection**

 **by Ulquiorra9000**

 **Chapter 65: Occupy**

Scar stomped back over to the tent in the alleyway where he and Mei Chang had set up camp on their travels. "Some homeless punks tried to mug me," he said. "I don't even carried cash. Roughed 'em up till they ran off."

Mei sat up. "Hey... until dinner's ready, let's play a few games..."

So she showed him rock-paper-scissors, thumb wrestling, evens-or-odds, and more hand and finger games until the modest dinner was ready.

"See, Scar?" Mei said as they ate. "Simple, nice fun with your friends is a much better way to use your hands."

Scar stared into their small campfire, mysteriously silent.


	66. Chapter 66: Scarecrow

**My Fullmetal Drabble Collection**

 **by Ulquiorra9000**

 **Chapter 66: Scarecrow**

Someone, or something, was raiding Central City HQ's vegetable garden, so Roy and Ed carefully set up several scarecrows. "There!" Roy announced. "No more troubles."

But food kept vanishing, so Roy kept the scarecrows up and ordered Ed and Al to set up snares all over the place. And by the next morning, a snare went off and triggered an alarm bell. Ed and Al raced to the garden to find... Major General Armstrong?!

"What's the big idea, Snow Queen?" Ed demanded.

Hanging upside down in the snare, Olivier said, "Survival of the fittest, my petite alchemist friend. It's the law of Briggs, and indeed the whole world!"

"But..." Al realized. "Since we caught you, that makes _us_ the fittest!"

Olivier made an irritated noise.


	67. Chapter 67: Blades

**My Fullmetal Drabble Collection**

 **by Ulquiorra9000**

 **Chapter 67: Blades**

"Can you believe it, Al? These were just laying around!"

Ed brandished a pair of swords from Central City HQ's armory, testing their weight. "Useless for me. I can create a sword from anything." He kept testing the blade.

He decided he _really_ liked it.

"Yaaaaaah!" Al advanced like a fencer two minutes later with his sword, and he and Ed clashed steel to steel down the hallway, a proper gentleman's duel!

"Elric brothers, could you file these -" Roy stepped out of his office just in time for Al's sword to slice his papers in half.

"Sorry!" Al blurted.

Roy stared. Then he grinned and swiped Ed's sword. "Duel me, metal boy! If you win, all is forgiven!"

"You're on!" Al cried.

He lost.


	68. Chapter 68: Medical

**My Fullmetal Drabble Collection**

 **by Ulquiorra9000**

 **Chapter 68: Medical**

Ed stopped in his tracks in Central City's HQ and let out a honker of a sneeze. "Ah- _choo!"_ He blasted the germy good stuff everywhere!

Sheska, who happened by, winced. "Yikes! Mr. Elric, please visit the hospital wing. Take care of yourself."

"N-no, I'm fine," Ed told her, shivering. "I... ah- _choo!"_ He collapsed on his hands and knees.

Riza Hawkeye happened by, took in the scene, and dragged Ed to the infirmary as Sheska waved good-bye.

"Don't worry. You're in good hands," Riza assured him, once he was in bed. She smiled warmly.

Ed grinned back. "Are you for real?"

"Of course!" Riza stepped back, and Alex Armstrong waltzed in, dressed up like a doctor.

"Let us pound this infection to oblivion, my little friend!" Armstrong cried.

Ed slipped out of bed. "Somehow, I feel better..."


	69. Chapter 69: Cards

**My Fullmetal Drabble Collection**

 **by Ulquiorra9000**

 **Chapter 69: Cards**

One evening during the Grilled Steaks tour, at a town inn's lobby, Maes, Roy, and Riza all played a small game of draw poker, but damn, things were getting rough!

"Whew. These are my last few cenz," Riza admitted, shoving forth her coins. She felt pretty good when she drew into a full house hand, and put up a stiff bet. All the cards went down...

"Woo hoo! More for me!" Maes raked in the goods with his straight flush.

Riza sighed. "How do you keep winning? I lost the house to you! So to speak."

Maes went red and glanced away. "Uh..."

Roy grinned. "He learned to swindle people in cards from Edward. To get money for the band."

Riza made an amused noise. No wonder these fellas kept finding money for whiskey and actual grilled steaks for dinner every night!


	70. Chapter 70: Gift

**My Fullmetal Drabble Collection**

 **by Ulquiorra9000**

 **Chapter 70: Gift**

Prince Ling couldn't stop grinning to himself, even when he tried, as he wandered the massive Central City looking for something. But what?

 _Be back in one hour, my prince,_ Foo had told him. _I worry about you!_

Bah. Ling didn't need constant guardianship. He needed... a gift. The perfect one!

Jewelry? Overdone. Champagne? Bottles break. A set of new robes? No...

"I'm back!" Ling announced, dragging a kennel into his hotel room.

Lan Fan stood up. "What's that?"

"I bequeath to you... this doggy!" Ling opened the door and a chestnut-colored dog burst out, tackled Lan Fan to the floor, and licked her face.

"It's so... uh, happy!" Lan Fan commented between licks. "Thank you, prince!"

And that made Ling even happier.


	71. Chapter 71: Handle

**My Fullmetal Drabble Collection**

 **by Ulquiorra9000**

 **Chapter 71: Handle**

The next day, Lan Fan fitted a pink collar onto her powerful new dog as it panted in her face. "There. Now your name is, uh..." Lan Fan faltered.

Ling shrugged. "We could find a dog name book."

"It's okay. I'll call her Daisy!" Lan Fan said happily, patting Daisy's head.

Daisy tackled her to the floor just as Foo came in. The old bodyguard scowled.

"What's that mutt doing here?"

Ling bristled. "It's Daisy, my gift to Lan Fan. Be nice!"

"In fact, I'll take her for a walk," Lan Fan said, fixing a leash onto Daisy's collar. At once, Daisy bound for the door, knocking Foo aside and dragging a wailing Lan Fan along.

Ling hurried after them. _What a tough dog to handle,_ he thought. _What breed is this thing, anyway?!_

He dearly hoped Lan Fan had it in her to be an expert trainer!


	72. Chapter 72: Telephone

**My Fullmetal Drabble Collection**

 **by Ulquiorra9000**

 **Chapter 72: Telephone**

"Guess what, Jean? It's Elicia's first day of school! Want to wish her good luck with me?" Maes eagerly asked in a public phone.

"I'm busy, y'know," Jean's voice said, and hung up.

Maes dialed again. "Roy, my boy! Want to help me see Elicia off to school?"

"Busy, bro," Roy told him. He hung up.

"Ed? Alex? Riza? Anyone?" But Maes couldn't get them.

Then...

"K-King Bradley! Sir! An emergency!" Maes cried theatrically into the phone. Soon enough, Bradley showed up.

"Elicia is starting school!" Maes said proudly. Then he realized what a gutsy move this was! Did he go too far?

Bradley stared, then grinned. "Congrats to your daughter, Lieutenant Colonel Hughes. I know what it's like to see your child off to school."

Then he got that serious look. "Now get back to work pronto, Hughes."

"Y-yes, sir!"


	73. Chapter 73: Popcorn

**My Fullmetal Drabble Collection**

 **by Ulquiorra9000**

 **Chapter 73: Popcorn**

Ed sighed dramatically as he and Al trudged up the dirt road from Resembool's markets back to the Rockbell house in the summer heat. "Why do _we_ have to do the hard work?" He carried boxes of baking goods that Pinako had pre-ordered.

"Hey, the Rockbells do a lot for us," Al reminded him. "I don't mind."

"Fair point. I bet Pinako will cook something tasty with all this." Ed grinned, then his face fell. "Where's all that dried corn you were supposed to get?"

"It's -" Al started, until a thousand little pops echoed from inside his sun-warmed metal body. Waves of popcorn spilled out from gaps in his armor and out his mouth.

Ed burst out laughing. "Looks like movie night popcorn came early today!"

"Shut up!" Al tried to snap back, but popcorn was clogging his mouth.

At least the sheep appreciated the free snacks!


	74. Chapter 74: Record

**My Fullmetal Drabble Collection**

 **by Ulquiorra9000**

 **Chapter 74: Record**

Roy set down a wooden crate onto the table at Central City HQ, his face radiant with pride. "Ed, Maes, Riza, we did it! Our first studio album, _Remember Your Passion_ , releases today! An excellent record!"

Maes whooped and clapped. "I've gotta share it with all my friends!"

"Sell it!" Roy reminded him.

"Well, _I'm_ giving one to Jean as an early birthday present," Riza said fondly. "He'll love the Grilled Steaks, being a country lad."

Jean was happy to receive it, but when Riza looked out her window later, she found Jean and a few other officers playing Frisbee... with the record!

Riza bopped Jean on the head. "How could you?!"

"Ouch! I swear I'll listen to it later!" Jean cried.

"You'd better, buster!"


	75. Chapter 75: Bubble

**My Fullmetal Drabble Collection**

 **by Ulquiorra9000**

 **Chapter 75: Bubble**

It was a real relief to get his arm repaired at the Rockbell house, but before leaving Resembool, Ed dug up one of his few old possessions he hadn't destroyed... his bubble-making wand and soap!

"Bubbles?" Al asked as Ed set things up on the front lawn.

"Just a whimsical piece of our childhood. Keeping things in perspective," Ed said. "Watch!"

He dipped the wand in liquid soap, prepared to blow, and added a bit of alchemy just for good measure.

Bigger, bigger, bigger the bubble grew, and as Al gasped and watched in fascination, the mega-bubble drifted to the Rockbell house... and completely enveloped it like a snow globe!

"Ed! You'd better get rid of this thing!" Winry roared from her open bedroom window. She couldn't even break the membrane!

Al sighed. "Let's just go back to Central already. _After_ I literally go burst your bubble!"


	76. Chapter 76: Jog

**My Fullmetal Drabble Collection**

 **by Ulquiorra9000**

 **Chapter 76: Jog**

The weather was nice and mild out, and what a waste to spend it all indoors! Roy set aside an hour every afternoon at Central City HQ to change into his white tee and shorts and jog on the outdoor track. Just a way to bask in the sunlight... and keep Roy's head clear.

 _The world is getting so murky, so dangerous,_ Roy thought, heart racing as he kept jogging one day. He actually passed the one-hour mark, but didn't notice. Sweat stung in his eyes. _Sometimes I wonder how I keep going... huh?_

By the track's side sat Jean Havoc in his wheelchair. He lowered his shades. "Keep it up, Roy!" he cheered.

Roy panted. "Not sure if I can keep going..."

"Hey." Jean pointed. "You promised me you'd never stop moving, Roy my boy."

"So... tired..."

"Just keep moving!"

Roy did. How could he stop?


	77. Chapter 77: Actor

**My Fullmetal Drabble Collection**

 **by Ulquiorra9000**

 **Chapter 77: Actor**

Ling ignored the giggling of random pedestrians as he kept up his work in East City's sidewalks. "Oh, fair maiden, how my heart burns for thee!" he said dramatically to a volunteer, on one knee, an arm extended imploringly. "The very stars sing of my desire!"

The volunteer young woman clapped. "Wonderful!" she said. "I'm sure your girlfriend will love it!"

Ling went red. "She's not quite my, uh..."

"Not what, my prince?"

Lan Fan had arrived, walking the newly-tamed Daisy the dog.

Ling glanced away. "I'm just practicing my acting. In case we have to talk down our enemies, that's all! Yeah!"

"Sure, _that's_ what it was." Lan Fan took Ling's hand and resumed her walk. "One day, my prince, you may have to open your heart properly. A ruler is true to himself." She smiled.

"When he works up the guts," Ling muttered.

"What was that?"

"N-nothing!"


	78. Chapter 78: Afternoon

**My Fullmetal Drabble Collection**

 **by Ulquiorra9000**

 **Chapter 78: Afternoon**

Getting outside in the fresh air helped clear Roy's mind... but what about his heart? That was simple!

"Ooooohhh, I can't think of lyrics like Ed but I'm a-twangin' away and it keeps me in the mood, oh yeah," Roy half-sang to himself, sitting on a stool as he plucked on his bass, nodding his head to the beat.

A taxi pulled up and Hawkeye climbed out. She blinked. "Colonel? Don't you have work to do?!"

"I do, darlin'," Roy said with a newfound drawl. "But the music... oh, how it keeps me sane."

As the taxi drove off, Hawkeye pouted. "You can't keep slacking off," she told him. Then she smiled. "But as your manager, I can't think of a better way to pass the afternoon. Mind if I listen?"

"Do I mind? 'Course not!"

Roy played until sunset.


	79. Chapter 79: Passenger

**My Fullmetal Drabble Collection**

 **by Ulquiorra9000**

 **Chapter 79: Passenger**

The trip to the northern region took longer than expected, but at least Amestris' train system lived up to its reputation. One evening, Kimblee lightly dozed in a crowded passenger car, his hat tilted down to shade his eyes.

Someone walking down the aisle stepped on his foot and Kimblee jolted awake, suddenly aware of the train's rhythmic, rattling thumps.

"Sorry!" A boy no older than ten winced.

"You know," Kimblee said, "there's a lot of people on this train, and many trains traveling around Amestris every day. What are the odds you'd step on _my_ foot?"

The boy blinked. "Uh..."

Kimblee motioned. "Never mind."

The boy left, and Kimblee relaxed. Indeed, he was one of many thousands of people riding a train today.

His lethal alchemy would have to sleep a while longer. Today, he really _was_ just yet another passenger.

He could live with that.


	80. Chapter 80: Imperfect

**My Fullmetal Drabble Collection**

 **by Ulquiorra9000**

 **Chapter 80: Imperfect**

Ed made an irrirated grunt as he and Al boarded the train for Dublith. "Throw that thing away already, Al. It's junk."

Al turned over the slightly-warped automail part in his hands. "I found it on the sidewalk..."

"Yeah. It's trash."

"It's almost perfect, Ed. I can feel how it was once perfect, and now it just needs a little push."

Ed stared out the window. "Either put it back in shape or toss it, will you?"

Al didn't. And he collected an imperfect item from each city and town, keeping them in a little bag. He didn't dare fix them with alchemy or even by bending them.

The brothers were imperfect, too. But they survived, right? Maybe Al could find a use for these parts. Until then, he would patiently wait.


	81. Chapter 81: Driving

**My Fullmetal Drabble Collection**

 **by Ulquiorra9000**

 **Chapter 81: Driving**

Deep inside his own body's mind, Ling threw up his hands in protest. "Come on, Greed! This is _my_ body you're putting at risk! Slow down already!"

Greed-Ling grinned wickedly as he drove a stylish convertible down a country road at a speed even race drivers would call irresponsible. "No way, little prince! You humans invent the coolest stuff sometimes. I feel like I can do anything!" He pressed even harder on the gas.

"I don't even have an Amestris driver's license! And until yesterday, I didn't even know what a driver's license is!" Ling wailed.

"Relax, kid! I - no!"

Greed shoved the steering wheel hard to the left to avoid hitting a deer. The car whined as it tilted and slammed into a tree. Greed stood, his body armored. "Hey, I'm okay, see? Ultimate Shield!"

"Too bad the car didn't have a shield, too," Ling muttered.


	82. Chapter 82: Marbles

**My Fullmetal Drabble Collection**

 **by Ulquiorra9000**

 **Chapter 82: Marbles**

Training with Izumi in Dublith was actually going pretty well, so Izumi and Sig Curtis called for a fun break.

"I present... my marbles collection!" the beefy Sig declared, dumping the many glass spheres onto the bare dirt.

Ed stared. "Really?"

"Let's play!"

So the four of them dived into the game. Ed pulled ahead with his razor-sharp understanding of angles and momentum, but Sig's powerful thumbs gave him the force to take over the lead. Not even Izumi kept up!

"Here... I... go!" Sig flicked his thumb, and his target marble shot like a bullet into Al's armor, ricocheted a hundred times, bounced out, and hit Ed on the noggin. Ed collapsed in a stunned heap.

"Big brother!" Al cried.

Sig dusted himself off. "Should I count that as a win?"

Izumi swatted his shoulder. "You owe them a steak dinner."

"Fine..."


	83. Chapter 83: Trousers

**My Fullmetal Drabble Collection**

 **by Ulquiorra9000**

 **Chapter 83: Trousers**

"Ed! Take off your pants at once!"

Ed leaped off his seat in the hotel lounge in shock. "I beg your pardon?!"

Winry blushed. "Sorry, that came out wrong." She twisted her hands together. "Look, you and Roy and Maes are so busy on the road for your new tour... but you're filthy! Especially those trousers."

Ed sighed. "Be right back."

He returned in new pants. "These itch," he complained.

"But they're clean! Do your laundry, for goodness' sake!"

"I was gonna keep the same clothes on during the tour to show the collected stories of dirt and hardship," Ed admitted, sitting back down in a slouch. His hair antenna drooped. "A documentary of the road, y'know?"

Winry stared. "Ed, that's so..."

"Cool?"

Winry pointed a finger and went red. "So stupid! Tell stories with your banjo, not your pants!"

"Fine. I'll _not_ be authentic, then. What a waste..."


	84. Chapter 84: Futuristic

**My Fullmetal Drabble Collection**

 **by Ulquiorra9000**

 **Chapter 84: Futuristic**

Ed skipped all around Central City HQ, alchemizing a new aesthetic for the place.

"Bam! Think of the future!" Ed cried, and he reformed Maes' uniform and weapons into a shiny astronaut suit with a pistol built into the wrist.

"Bam! Cutting edge!" Ed remade a lamp into Roy's new helmet, complete with antennae for picking up alien signals.

"Bam! Laser gun! Bam! Computer brain! Bam! X-ray goggles from outer space!" Ed kept giving the officers fancy upgrades all over the place.

Then he reached Riza Hawkeye, and reached to alchemize her weapons -

Hawkeye gently shoved him away. "Touch my equipment and you pay the price, shorty!"

Ed scampered away in terror. "Some people don't change, even in the future!"


	85. Chapter 85: Rod

**My Fullmetal Drabble Collection**

 **by Ulquiorra9000**

 **Chapter 85: Rod**

"Get 'em here! Your dowsing rods for finding your fortune in the ground!" the streetside seller cried in a northern town.

"Ignore them," Al suggested. "I can't believe what kind of things are sold to gullible people around the country..."

"I'll take one!" Ed said, throwing some bills at the delighted seller. He stomped around the place, rod in position. Then he secretly patted his hands on the ground and called over the seller. "I'm new at this. Could you finish the job?"

"Sure thing." The rod seller dug at the spot Ed's rod had indicated... and a focused geyser blasted him into the air!

"Ha! I alchemized the ground to create a jet of pressurized water. That's what you get for selling crap to tourists!" Ed boasted.

Then he and Al ran pretty fast from the vengeful seller once he landed!


	86. Chapter 86: Humdrum

**My Fullmetal Drabble Collection**

 **by Ulquiorra9000**

 **Chapter 86: Humdrum**

Maes and some other officers were dismissed, but Maes hung back. "King Bradley... a suggestion, sir?"

"Go ahead."

Maes beamed. "Such a mundane office. Why not jazz it up?"

Bradley's eye twinkled. "Let's see what I can do!"

So, the next day, Maes peeked in and found colorful streamers hanging from the ceiling. Great! The next day, huge stuffed animals decorated the office. Terrific! Then a jukebox playing twangy country music. Fantastic! And a live clown, and sequins on the window drapes, and even a caged tiger!

But a week later, Maes realized that all the new stuff was gone from Bradley's office. _What the...?_ He hurried back to his office and found it all crammed inside in a loud, colorful mess!

A note on the door read "Keep your renovation ideas to yourself, if you please. -B"

Maes sighed. Some people were just so humdrum...


	87. Chapter 87: Exchange

**My Fullmetal Drabble Collection**

 **by Ulquiorra9000**

 **Chapter 87: Exchange**

"Nice to meet you, miss Lan Fan. I'm Lieutenant Riza Hawk - whoa!"

Hawkeye was thrown right onto her back when Daisy the dog tackled her at the cafe and licked her face.

"Daisy! Stop that!" Lan Fan barely reined in her pooch. "Sorry! She keeps doing that. Ling gave her to me as a gift, but she's a handful."

Hawkeye smiled as she got up. "What a kind fellow. I recently got my own dog, Black Hayate. Dogs are such gifts. I think Mustang likes Hayate, too."

Then Hawkeye cocked her head. "Hey... why don't I look after Daisy, and you can borrow Black Hayate for a while? As a personal favor."

Lan Fan handed over the leash and sighed with amusement. "Thanks. I could use the break!"

"Not so fast, missy!" Hawkeye winked and held up a finger. "You'll owe me a _big_ favor for this!"


	88. Chapter 88: Letter

**My Fullmetal Drabble Collection**

 **by Ulquiorra9000**

 **Chapter 88: Letter**

Rose sighed and crumpled up yet another long, overwrought letter that she had composed at her bedroom desk for the Elric brothers. Night had fallen, and Rose wanted to be in bed by now, but those wandering brothers... they had gotten her back on her feet! She _had_ to reach out to them. She didn't want them to forget what they'd done for her.

Putting pen to paper, Rose started: _Dear Elric brothers, wherever you may be: thank you. I can't repay you, but I can give you the satisfaction of my eternal gratitude. -Rose_

She prepared to crumple up that simple-minded message... then realized that it was just fine. No doubt the Elrics would fill the blanks for themselves. They were smart boys.

Humming to herself, Rose folded the paper into an envelope and made a mental note to mail it in the morning, bright and early.


	89. Chapter 89: Superstition

**My Fullmetal Drabble Collection**

 **by Ulquiorra9000**

 **Chapter 89: Superstition**

Winy didn't really believe in this sort of thing, but once she went outside early in the morning, she found heavy dew on the grass and leaves, the first of the month. She picked a few leaves and licked up their dew, the morning's gift. It was an old superstition here in Resembool, for good luck for someone close to you. _Ed and Al will have a wonderful day,_ she thought.

Elsewhere, Ed and Al trudged through a country road, still burdened with the recently-learned truth of the Philosopher's Stone. _Sacrificed human lives!_ An abomination!

Ed kicked a patch of grass in aimless anger and realized that he kicked up some dew. _Reminds me of that old superstition at home,_ Ed thought. _I bet Winry forgot all about it. She's got better things to think about these days..._


	90. Chapter 90: Repayment

**My Fullmetal Drabble Collection**

 **by Ulquiorra9000**

 **Chapter 90: Repayment**

Riza Hawkeye returned Daisy to Lan Fan, the dog's mind reshaped with excellent training. Attached to Daisy's collar was a note from Riza explaining how to repay her: _Be true to yourself._

"Prince Ling, I love you, and I only want _you_ in my life," Lan Fan told the Xing prince in their hotel room that evening. She felt herself blushing like crazy but plowed on. "Even if you won't have me, you must know that my heart is yours."

Ling went red too. "Lan Fan, of course I want you around! You're the best!"

"You mean like this?" Lan Fan pressed Ling to the wall and held his head in her hands as she kissed him, then again, slower, sweeter. "I can do this all night, you know."

Ling didn't answer, but instead, responded in kind.

 _Just like you told me, Riza,_ Lan Fan thought.


	91. Chapter 91: Fascinated

**My Fullmetal Drabble Collection**

 **by Ulquiorra9000**

 **Chapter 91: Fascinated**

The ongoing battles for Amestris' future sure created more than a few ghost towns, and Envy, Sloth, and Pride found themselves in yet another one.

"Pointless," Pride said flatly. "We should move on."

"Wait. Let's check this out first," Envy said, leading the gang into a department store. He stared in delight at all the cool human stuff. Designer suits and gowns! Boots! Silk ties! Couches! Pocket watches!

Envy swaggered over, decked out in expensive stuff. "Check it out!" he announced.

"I see," Pride said.

"Oh. Need... this," Sloth mumbled, approaching a hammock. He tried to lay on it, but fell off. He tried again and again, but kept tumbling out.

"Too... tricky. Might as well... rest here," Sloth said, laying on the floor under the hammock.

Envy rolled his eyes. Since when were hammocks _not_ worth the effort?!


	92. Chapter 92: Post

**My Fullmetal Drabble Collection**

 **by Ulquiorra9000**

 **Chapter 92: Post**

Ed needed _some_ way to show the fruit of his efforts, so whenever the Grilled Steaks finished a gig at a town, he would (with permission) uproot one of a farm's fence posts and take it along. Maybe he could build his own barbed-wire fence one day? Lumber from all across Amestris... what an earthly, country boy bit of memorabilia!

The crowd clapped and whooped as the Grilled Steaks finished their new show in a riverside town. "Here's another one," Ed said, shivering in the chill air as he brought over his newest fence post. "What the... hey!"

He realized that the campfire Maes had lit burned with his fence post collection! "Those are mine!" Ed roared.

Maes chuckled. "Sorry. But I was cold!"

Ed bristled. "Freeze for all I care!"

He didn't mean it, of course. Right?


	93. Chapter 93: Lunchroom

**My Fullmetal Drabble Collection**

 **by Ulquiorra9000**

 **Chapter 93: Lunchroom**

Things got tense at Central City's HQ when one of the lunch servers quit, and everyone's lunch break took _way_ too long! Everyone was going hungry!

"I'll do it," Al volunteered. "I can't eat during lunch. Might as well serve it!"

So he did... with gusto! Immune to the temptations of edibles, he ladled, chopped, sliced, and roasted everything everyone wanted, even Roy when he came off a double shift with an empty stomach. Everyone was pretty sad to see Al go when Ed needed to launch their next quest.

"Man, they loved you back there," Ed said on the train. "Didn't know you were so skilled in the kitchen."

Al handed over half his tip money. "Here, buy yourself a great dinner with this."

"Thanks, little bro!"

Al decided to keep the other half secret for himself until he, too, could eat.


	94. Chapter 94: Voiceless

**My Fullmetal Drabble Collection**

 **by Ulquiorra9000**

 **Chapter 94: Voiceless**

 _No... I can't believe it! This is... the worst!_ Ed bolted upright in bed that morning, hand at his throat. His voice... it was gone! His breathing... hoarse!

The phong rang. "Ed!" Maes said brightly. "You're gonna be late for band practice! Hurry!"

Ed could only respond with zombie-like rasping before he hung up.

At practice, though, Ed got an idea. He waited until Maes' drumming and Roy's bass provided a good lead, and his fingers flew on his banjo's strings, faster and faster, a complicated, improvised geyser of notes! Maximum skill! Who needs voices, anyway?!

Then, just as Ed finished shredding, a string broke loose, whipped through the air, and knocked Roy flat on his rear.

Roy rubbed his forehead as he got up. "How about your practice a bit more before we perform, shorty!"


	95. Chapter 95: Daily

**My Fullmetal Drabble Collection**

 **by Ulquiorra9000**

 **Chapter 95: Daily**

Olivier tapped a foot on her office floor, the gears whirring in her head. Morale was slipping a bit here at Briggs Fort... what to do? The men needed a focus for their minds.

She spotted an old, yellowed newspaper and got an idea!

 _The Briggs Daily Times_ soon rolled off the recently-bought printing press, and stories, columns, editorials, and crossword puzzles amazed and delighted everyone at Briggs. The paper hit a golden age!

Then everyone ran out of ideas, and Oliver stalked down the hallway, looking for a way to vent her anger.

Miles was laughing with Buccaneer. "Can't wait to read this front-page story!" he was saying.

Olivier got one look at the headline - "Top Ten Prank Snowmen to Make While Olivier Isn't Looking" - and she rolled up the paper and bopped Miles on the head.

"Paper's canceled," she snapped.


	96. Chapter 96: Recommendation

**My Fullmetal Drabble Collection**

 **by Ulquiorra9000**

 **Chapter 96: Recommendation**

Winry gave Prince Ling a friendly hug in the East City hotel's lobby. "Ling, that's wonderful! You and Lan Fan are...?"

Ling nodded proudly. "We're together! But..." He winced. "B-but I don't know what to do! It's not like an arranged marriage... I have to do something! But what?"

Winry patted his back. "You could buy her flowers. There's this shop -"

"I already got her some."

"Oh. A necklace?"

"She's not big on jewelry."

Winry shrugged. "How about expensive Southern wine?"

"She doesn't drink. What else can I do? Please tell me! Please? Please? What if -"

"Look, I'm no expert, okay?" Winry snapped. "Settle down!"

Ling held up a finger and grinned. "How about a nice picnic with a great view, just her and me. It's a chance to let any and all love gods decide what shall be."

Winry patted his cheek and smiled back. "Now you're talking."


	97. Chapter 97: Absorbed

**My Fullmetal Drabble Collection**

 **by Ulquiorra9000**

 **Chapter 97: Absorbed**

With all the chaos and horrors going on, Riza Hawkeye gently shut her office door and studied deeper into sharpshooting technique and practicing re-assembling her weapons. Anything to get away...

The room was dark for a while, then light again. Riza blinked, looking up from _Northern Firearms, 1890-1910._ Morning? Another day of horrors out there... she dived back in, practicing her aim, reciting lists of weapons.

Some time later, Roy creaked the door open... and in shock, Riza tripped and was buried under papers and books.

"I was... busy," Riza said.

Roy had a knowing look as he handed her a loaded tray. "I know that you're like this when you're overwhelmed... but you gotta open up enough for breakfast, right?"

Riza felt her heart race as she took a grateful bite. "You know me so well. Thanks, Roy."

She took a long walk later.


	98. Chapter 98: Poker

**My Fullmetal Drabble Collection**

 **by Ulquiorra9000**

 **Chapter 98: Poker**

On a slow afternoon, Ed gathered Den the dog, Black Hayate, and two dogs from a local shelter and set up a poker game to recreate that famous painting. And even more incredibly, Maes Hughes wanted to play!

"You're all such smart doggies," the Lieutennt Colonel said kindly as he made his bet. "I'd adopt you all if I could!"

The dogs, meanwhile, nudged over their bets with their snouts and flipped over their cards. Maes lost all his chips... by a huge margin!

"Whoops! You fellas got me! Woo hoo!" Maes hollered as the dogs tackled him to the floor and licked his face, tails wagging.

"How'd he ever make Lieutenant Colonel?" Ed muttered to Roy.

Roy could only shrug.


	99. Chapter 99: Brass

**My Fullmetal Drabble Collection**

 **by Ulquiorra9000**

 **Chapter 99: Brass**

Al sighed. "Big brother, I can't do it!" He lowered his brand-new trumpet in dismay.

Ed scratched his head. "Yeah, you don't have breath... or lips to play."

"But I wanna make music like you," Al moaned. "I could be a one-man band! I just need air!"

"Your body sure is big enough... wait!" Ed's hair antenna perked up with inspiration, and with a clap of his hands, he alchemized the trumpet, a sousaphone, a trombone, and a French horn onto Al's body.

"But -" Al started.

"Not done yet!" Ed fused on a forge bellows to Al's back and started pumping air.

All the instruments blared to life, and Al was like a walking symphony! Too loud, actually... he blew out all the windows in the neighborhood!

Izumi Curtis stomped over and punted both boys away. "Keep it down!"


	100. Chapter 100: Fairies

**My Fullmetal Drabble Collection**

 **by Ulquiorra9000**

 **Chapter 100: Fairies**

Ed always had a fascination with photography. With a lens, film, light, and other stuff, a photographer can eternally, perfectly, freeze a moment in time. A fossil of the living.

Why not have some fun?

"This seems kinda dishonest," Winry admitted as she posed for the photo. She stood behind a garden's low stone wall, arms folded over the top. She posed as though looking at something hovering near her.

"Here we go!" Ed took the shot, and later, added some new elements!

"This has gotta be fake," Riza said when Ed gave her the final product. In the photo, Winry was admiring some fairies flying around her.

"Hey -" Ed started.

Then Alex Armstrong happened by and gasped in delight. "Such gorgeous little fairies!" he said, taking the photo. "Miss Rockbell, may I keep this?"

Winry giggled. "Okay, why not..."

*o*o*o*o*

 **A/N:** Happy 100 drabbles, everyone!

P.S. This drabble was inspired by the real-life hoax of the Cottingley Fairies photos. Also, for the time being, _**My Fullmetal Drabble Collection**_ will slow down because I'm almost out of ideas and prompts for chapters (at least, it feels that way). I'll try and update some more whenever I can.


	101. Chapter 101: Writer

**My Fullmetal Drabble Collection**

 **by Ulquiorra9000**

 **Chapter 101: Writer**

Colonel Mustang confronted Ed in the hallways of Central City's command HQ, an irritated look on his face. He held up the newest local newspaper. "Fullmetal, what the hell is this article you wrote?"

Ed shrugged. "Hey, you wanted me to contribute to high society and all."

"I know, but _ghost stories_?" Roy said. "Why can't you write a review for an opera or something?"

"Opera is dumb, Roy. You only went to one because Hawkeye dragged you along," Ed teased him.

"Whatever. These stories aren't even good! Or scary!" Roy argued.

Later, Ed found Maes hiding under a blanket in his office, shivering. "What's wrong?" Ed asked.

"The newspaper," Maes whimpered. "Those ghost stories... I'm chilled to the bone! Eeeeeek!"

Ed pumped a fist. Success!


	102. Chapter 102: Married

**My Fullmetal Drabble Collection**

 **by Ulquiorra9000**

 **Chapter 102: Married**

Greed folded his arms and tilted his head in thought. "Humans do all kind of cool stuff," he said. "Like get married. What's it like?"

"Let's find out!" Lust volunteered happily. "Will you marry me?"

"Yeah!"

The next time Envy came to visit Greed with a message, he found the avaricious one in a suburban house... reading the paper at the dining table while smoking a pipe and complaining about the stock market! And Lust, wearing a frilly pink apron, was pouring coffee!

"What the hell's all this?!" Envy cried.

"We're married," Lust explained. "See? House, work, cool outfits, a big bed, everything!"

"We're gonna grow old together in domestic bliss," Greed added.

Envy scowled. "No you're not."

Greed shared a look with his wife. "You're right," he said, standing up. "Let's all go make some trouble..."


	103. Chapter 103: Pizzas

**My Fullmetal Drabble Collection**

 **by Ulquiorra9000**

 **Chapter 103: Pizzas**

"This, my friends," Maes Hughes said in Central City command HQ, "is the ultimate team-building exercise. Why don't we get started?"

Everyone was gathered in the kitchens. "I didn't authorize this," King Bradley pointed out yet again.

"So, this is how it works. First, mix up and pound the dough." Maes worked the pizza dough pretty well, and slid it into an oven. "Then I'll put on sauce and cheese and stuff! Everyone else try it!"

Roy made a lumpy mess that not even Black Hayate wanted to eat, while Jean made a decent pizza and Ed somehow alchemized a stack of waffles. Maes was definitely disappointed.

"Here I go! Armstrong secret recipe!" Alex cried, and he pounded his fist on his pizza dough with such force that raw dough blasted everywhere.

Bradley wiped dough from his face. "From now on, we order catering."


	104. Chapter 104: Goofy

**My Fullmetal Drabble Collection**

 **by Ulquiorra9000**

 **Chapter 104: Goofy**

Olivier Armstrong didn't know what the hell to think when rumors of "Mr. Giggles" started spreading around Fort Briggs until she tracked down the source. She threw open the break room door to find one of the men, a Sergeant, doing a funny voice while doing stand-up comedy... with a sock puppet.

"Everyone back to work!" Olivier roared. "Now!"

The soldiers shuffled out and Olivier confronted the Sergeant. "What are you doing?" she demanded.

The Sergeant gave the puppet a heavy look. "This was my daughter's. She died last week from a really bad infection. My wife sent me a package with some of her stuff, including this puppet."

The next day, Olivier dug up a spare sock, gave it a face, and introduced Mr. Giggles to a new friend. She even did a goofy voice.

Even though it was beneath her dignity.


	105. Chapter 105: Groomed

**My Fullmetal Drabble Collection**

 **by Ulquiorra9000**

 **Chapter 105: Groomed**

Riza frowned in disapproval when Ed came slouching into Central City's HQ, his red coat frayed and patched, his boots worn out, and his hair messy and stubble on his jaw.

"Ed, you should clean up," Riza told him. "We have to maintain personal standards."

"Whatever," Ed said.

Riza smiled. "But you'll attract girls if you look nice..."

So Ed fixed himself up, but on his off time, no girls in the city showed any interest. He regressed back to his slob self, shuffling around.

"Hey," a hot girl in black clothes said. "I like a guy who doesn't care, and does his own thing without needing societal approval."

Ed grinned. "Thanks!" He marched off in victory.


	106. Chapter 106: Scene

**My Fullmetal Drabble Collection**

 **by Ulquiorra9000**

 **Chapter 106: Scene**

"It's done!" Colonel Mustang proudly set down his newest screenplay, _Alchemist on the Roof._ "Let's make some costumes and put on a show!"

Everyone grumbled but obeyed. An hour later, they gathered at the local theater. Ed did his best to play a down-on-his-luck alchemist with big dreams, but director Roy, with his beret and megaphone, kept finding new ways to criticize the performance.

"Hawkeye! Say your lines with more weight!" Roy barked. "Armstrong! Stop turning your back to the audience! Maes! You're boring! This scene needs new juice... try it again!"

This time, just as Ed started doing his lines, Maes burst onto the scene with a trumpet and blasted out a fantastic jazz solo. Everyone clapped, and Maes bowed.

Roy sighed. "I guess it's _his_ play now..."


	107. Chapter 107: Blush

**My Fullmetal Drabble Collection**

 **by Ulquiorra9000**

 **Chapter 107: Blush**

One lazy afternoon in East City, Ed and Al poked around the downtown shops when a lovely girl walked by. "Nice armor. It's very shiny," she said with a giggle. She went on her way.

Ed gasped. "Ed... that girl was gorgeous! But she'd never appreciate me in this body..."

"Let me fix that." Ed bought some paint and put pink patches under Al's eyeholes. "There! For the next hottie who comes along."

They did the same when Al cried, got angry, or was confused. Lots of paint and funny faces!

Until Al woke up with a clown face!

"Whoops!" Sheska teased them later. "I came to say hi, and I couldn't resist borrowing Ed's paint!"

Al took a long shower to get it all off.


	108. Chapter 108: Drawer

**My Fullmetal Drabble Collection**

 **by Ulquiorra9000**

 **Chapter 108: Drawer**

The officers' meeting had just begun when Riza's eyes widened. "Oh! I forgot to bring my report," she said. She smiled. "Colonel Mustang, could you do me a favor and get it from my office? It's unlocked."

"Fine, fine..." Roy went into Hawkeye's office and found the paper. He also found a drawer labeled DO NOT OPEN!

He opened it.

Confetti blasted out!

Roy returned to the meeting covered in colorful paper scraps. "Not funny," he muttered to Hawkeye.

"Don't look at other people's private stuff," Riza told him.

The next day, she made the same request. And again, Roy got her paper and opened the drawer.

Inside was a note: "Sheesh. If you're this determined, why not get dinner together tonight at 8:00?"

Roy returned the paper and the note with "Yes" written on it.


	109. Chapter 109: Addicted

**My Fullmetal Drabble Collection**

 **by Ulquiorra9000**

 **Chapter 109: Addicted**

Van Hohenheim was wandering through a remote town when a ragged man reached up from his seated position in an alley's mouth. "Please... just a few coins? I need a hit so bad..."

Hohenheim crouched next to the raggedy man. "Are you an addict? Ah, I see them," he said, spotting the needle marks on the man's forearm.

"I just need it so bad," the man moaned. "I can't stop... I don't even know how it got this way..."

Addicted... trapped in something, feeding it forever... Hohenheim was so old, far older than nature intended, but he couldn't let his life end. He spun in endless circles without direction or exit... was he addicted to it?

"I know how that feels. I sympathize." Hohenheim got up and walked away. He didn't leave a coin.


	110. Chapter 110: Truck

**My Fullmetal Drabble Collection**

 **by Ulquiorra9000**

 **Chapter 110: Truck**

At Jean Havoc's family farm, Ed could hardly believe his eyes when he saw the rough repair work done on the stream-engine truck. "I could have alchemized any damaged parts together," Ed said. "Or any state alchemist."

"Ah, but that's the difference between you and me," Jean said, thumping Ed on the back. "It's not smooth and perfect like alchemy, but it's my own work, for my own good."

Al took a step back. "Hey, this isn't another 'I don't need alchemy' thing, is it?"

"Why, of course not!" Jean said. "If my truck breaks, I'll handle it myself. Enjoy your visit."

The next morning, the truck's engine crapped out. Jean went over to fix it, but Ed and Al were already trying to repair it by hand. "Stupid reverse psychology..." Ed muttered.

"You're so paranoid," Al told him.

Jean shrugged. Had he said something clever without even realizing it?


	111. Chapter 111: Own

**My Fullmetal Drabble Collection**

 **by Ulquiorra9000**

 **Chapter 111: Own**

Pride could hardly believe his eyes when he visited the Devil's Nest in Dublith. "Greed, this is silly," he said. "All these chimaeras and expensive whiskeys and cigars... they're fleeting possessions. We are transcendant."

"Yeah, right," Greed said, chilling on an expensive couch with several ladies, rings on his fingers and a cigar in his mouth. "This is the good life. What do you have, besides schoolboy clothes, huh? Think about it."

Pride narrowed his eyes and left.

Father soon noticed delivery men going in and out of his Central hiding spot... and he found shelves of action figures! Trophies! Silk ties and gold watches! And... seven purebred dogs! Seven!

"This isn't like you," Father told Pride. "Literally."

A dog pounced on Father and licked his face.

"Okay," Father relented. "Dogs are kind of nice..."


	112. Chapter 112: Venomous

**My Fullmetal Drabble Collection**

 **by Ulquiorra9000**

 **Chapter 112: Venomous**

"Hey, the reptile house is shut down," Ed commented when he and Al visited the Central City Zoo on a free afterrnoon. "I wanted to see the cool snakes and stuff..."

"Me, too," Al lamented.

A zookeeper informed them that the reptile handler had been bitten by a venemous snake and was hospitalized.

"Hey! I could do it!" Al realized. "I'm just metal. No big deal!"

So he handled cobras, mambas, rattlesnakes, all kinds of cool stuff, and all the zoo guests loved the colorful snakes in the glass tanks. Until the zoo owner graduated Al to wrangling crocodiles, lions, and angry gorillas!

"Ed! I'm being buried unde the entire animal kingdom!" Al cried as various beasts dogpiled him.

Ed shrugged. "I'm made of delicious meat. I can't help, sorry."


	113. Chapter 113: Linen

**My Fullmetal Drabble Collection**

 **by Ulquiorra9000**

 **Chapter 113: Linen**

"Okay, we'll stay here for the night," Foo said as he, Ling, and Lan Fan settled into yet another hotel on their trek across Amestris. "Get some sleep."

Lan Fan groaned as she felt the rough, worn-out fabric on the beds. "This feels awful."

"It's better than sleeping on the streets," Foo said with a shrug.

"I'll be right back," Ling said. He finally returned with silk pillowcases and lots of comfy, high-quality linens and put them all over his and Lan Fan's shared bed.

Lan Fan sank into the fabrics and sighed with delight. "Thank you! I can feel myself drifting off..." She was instantly asleep.

"See you in the morning." Ling settled in next to her.

Foo caved and got some linens, too.

Such luxury!


	114. Chapter 114: Boy

**My Fullmetal Drabble Collection**

 **by Ulquiorra9000**

 **Chapter 114: Boy**

Winry made all kinds of friends while working for Mr. Garfiel in Rush Valley, and one of the neighbor boys shyly came into the store.

"How can I help you?" Winry asked brightly. She finished polishing an automail arm and set it down.

"Uh..." The boy went red and glanced away. "There's, um... this really nice girl down the street but I don't know how to talk to her..."

"It's easy!" Winry smiled. "Just say hi and ask how her day is, and be polite and maybe ask to stay at her house for dinner."

"You're so smart!" the boy realized. "Winry, don't _you_ like anyone?"

"Uh... no!" Winry desperately thought of Ed's opposite. "Just guys who are... tall, and have dark hair, and no automail."

"So, Roy Mustang! I'll tell him!"

"What?!"

"He's my older cousin!"

"Just my luck..."

*o*o*o*o*

 **A/N:** I haven't heard much from you guys in a little while. How do you like the collection at this point? Let me know what you think!


	115. Chapter 115: Hydrant

**My Fullmetal Drabble Collection**

 **by Ulquiorra9000**

 **Chapter 115: Hydrant**

"Whoa. There's a busted hydrant. Let's go around it," Al said as he and Ed were walking down East City's many sidewalks. The hydrant was blasting jets of water everywhere, and this was a poor neighborhood.

Ed requested the afternoon off and gathered scrap metal, concrete, buckets, and anything else he could reach. He and Al transmuted the assembled materials into a system of pipes, nozzles, and collection buckets for the impoverished tenants around here.

"Now they have water to drink, and to cook and wash with," Ed said with satisifaction. Kids in rags cheere and thanked him.

Then Al added what they needed most of all: an improvised outdoor pool!

"Man, I could use a dunk in the water," Ed said. "But we gotta move on, right?"

So they did.


	116. Chapter 116: Wasteful

**My Fullmetal Drabble Collection**

 **by Ulquiorra9000**

 **Chapter 116: Wasteful**

Winry could hardly believe how much scrap the people of Rush Valley kept throwing away!

"I ain't got a use for it," the grumpy woman at the biggest automail shop said. She kept heaving heavy boxes of waste. "Get outta the way!"

The others were like this too, so Winry learned when the collection trucks came and raced them to the boxes of scrap and broken parts. She kept welding, improvising, and tinkering until she ended up with -

"A car? My dear, you're a natural!" Mr. Garfiel said in delight when Winry fired up her brand-new car.

Amazed onlookers crowded around to see it, including the grumpy old lady. "How'd you afford _that_?" she cried.

Winry winked. "Let's call it a collective effort." Then she drove off for a well-earned day drip.


	117. Chapter 117: Rations

**My Fullmetal Drabble Collection**

 **by Ulquiorra9000**

 **Chapter 117: Rations**

Major Miles sighed when he sat at the mess hall to another tasteless dinner of rations. "Supplies are a bit thin up here," he admitted, "but is this all we have this season?"

"Don't complain. It fills your belly," Olivier said dismissively. "Less whining, more training! I don't have time for everyone to take cooking classes!"

Miles and Buccaneer shared a look. "Or do you?" Buccaneer suggested.

Starting the next day, the Briggs soldiers had an assembly line of sword training leading up to the kitchen. Potatoes, carrots, heads of cabbage, and all kinds of pork, chicken, and beef were sliced in mid-air, making their way to the cooking pots.

Miles sliced a carrot in half with his rapier. "How about that, Major General?" he said proudly. "Looking forward to dinner now?"

Olivier salivated at the sight of the kitchens. "I'll never eat a ration again..."


	118. Chapter 118: Upbeat

**My Fullmetal Drabble Collection**

 **by Ulquiorra9000**

 **Chapter 118: Upbeat**

"Black Hayate? Madam, I'm sure he'll have lots of fun with the other dogs," the manager said at the dog daycare. "See you later!"

"Until then." Riza Hawkeye waved good-bye and met a few friends at an outdoor cafe for lunch, and after that, she went to see a play, and finally, she window-shopped downtown at all the trendy shops. She finally picked up Black Hayate and took him home, where they both were soon asleep.

Roy Mustang perked up when he saw Riza waltz into Central City's command HQ. "You seem... different today," he commented.

Riza hummed to herself. "Is it so strange that I feel upbeat today, Colonel?"

"N-no." Roy glanced away.

Riza walked past and tried to keep her face straight. Selim Bradley... Pride... and the endless bloodshed, the shadowy plots...

None of that would conquer her strength of spirit. Not now, not ever.


	119. Chapter 119: Hiatus

**My Fullmetal Drabble Collection**

 **by Ulquiorra9000**

 **Chapter 119: Hiatus**

After Ed traded pleasantries with the Hughes family, he found Maes in his study. "Maes!" Ed cried. "Where have you been? The Grilled Streaks haven't played in weeks!"

Maes was hard at work at his desk... gluing together models of cars, jeeps, and trains. "Sorry," he said. "I'm not feeling it, Fullmetal."

Ed rolled his eyes and visited Roy's apartment. "What d'you say we have a jam session? It's time to make music," Ed declared.

"Not now," Roy said, pounding away on his typewriter, a pipe in his mouth. "I'm working on a new play! I call it _The Wandering Bard_!"

"But..." Ed hung his head. "Maes also said no. What about the band?"

"Nothing wrong with a little break. Go out there and live it up," Roy encouraged him.

Ed departed and shuffled off into the evening crowds. Hell, maybe Roy had a point...


	120. Chapter 120: Kick

**My Fullmetal Drabble Collection**

 **by Ulquiorra9000**

 **Chapter 120: Kick**

Major Alex Armstrong was single-handedly expanding the Amestris military's sports department, and he had teams playing all across the country to boost teamwork and morale. He even visited north with a team to challenge the Briggs crew.

"Dear sister!" Alex cried. "To strengthen our bonds, let us play a game!"

"You got it!" Olivier sat a table and prepared to arm wrestle.

"Not that! I mean soccer!"

So the two teams played... and although Alex could kick like a mule, his team lost to Olivier's. She had a mean kick, too!

"We should call this game 'football' instead," Olivier suggested later.

"But that name is taken," Alex told her. "This sport is often called soccer."

Olivier toyed with her rapier's hilt. "Whatever you call it, I gave you a proper thrashing, didn't I? Now begone!"

Miles, in his striped referee shirt, blew his whistle.

Alex had no choice.


	121. Chapter 121: Monkey

**My Fullmetal Drabble Collection**

 **by Ulquiorra9000**

 **Chapter 121: Monkey**

Roy's idea for a group trip to the Central City zoo was working out great. The elephants, tigers, penguins, and ostriches delighted his group of friends, but in the monkey house, things got awkward.

"No! Hey!" Roy cried when a monkey stole his wallet through the thin bars of the monkey house's cage. The primate sat on a tree branch and turned the wallet over in its hands, baring its teeth.

"Let me!" Ed clapped his hands together to break down the cage bars, but Al held him back.

"We'll get kicked out," Al warned him.

Then another monkey appeared... Maes Hughes! He did all the motions and earned the thief monkey's trust long enough to get the wallet and return it to Roy.

"He blended into monkey society suspiciously well..." Riza Hawkeye muttered.


	122. Chapter 122: Vase

**My Fullmetal Drabble Collection**

 **by Ulquiorra9000**

 **Chapter 122: Vase**

"What the... dammit!" Olivier cursed when, one evening, she knocked over and shattered a fancy, painted vase in the Armstrong family mansion.

Alex examined a piece. "Should I alchemize it together?"

Oliver stalked off. "Forget it."

The next day, Olivier found a new, large vase in the old one's place. "Here you go, big sister," Alex said. "You can paint onto it to depict chapters of your life! Like an autobiographer!"

"Not interested," Olivier said, stalking away again.

The next day, Olivier ran her hands over the vase. "Well..." she admitted. "I'll keep it blank... until I find something _really_ worth painting on it for."

It was years until she found that certain something. She got out a paintbrush, a palette, and very carefully drew the first colored line.

Was this overdue? Or not?


	123. Chapter 123: Spoon

**My Fullmetal Drabble Collection**

 **by Ulquiorra9000**

 **Chapter 123: Spoon**

Envy sat on a bench in Father's underground headquarters, examining a metal spoon he'd found earlier. "What do you guys think this is?" he asked idly.

"It's a spoon. Jeez, you're slow," Greed teased while lounging on a couch.

Envy scowled. "You think you're so clever? Show me how it's done!" He tossed it over.

Greed chewed on it but couldn't figure out what to do next. "Whatever." He tossed it.

Then Pride picked it up. "The secret is this: there is no spoon," he said.

"Huh?" Greed said, frowning.

Pride tossed it over his shoulder. "Erase it from your mind, and there's nothing to worry about. You've overcome it."

Envy stared as Pride walked away. "He says the weirdest stuff sometimes," he said. "Is he right?"

Greed shrugged. "Only if you think he is..."


	124. Chapter 124: Spooky

**My Fullmetal Drabble Collection**

 **by Ulquiorra9000**

 **Chapter 124: Spooky**

Winry shivered as she walked with Ed and Al past a boarded-up house at the end of a neighborhood in Rush Valley. "Ooooooh, don't look at it," she said. "That place creeps me out. Someone said it's _haunted_!"

Ed scoffed. "Only kids believe that."

Al looked at it. "Imagine that, a detached soul wandering in agony..."

That evening, Ed was talking a walk to clear his mind when he saw a ghostly white form fluttering around the house's top balcony! An evil spirit! He screamed and ran, hiding in a bush.

Then he saw more ghosts, all colorful and in a line... and socks?

He got some binoculars and found an old man hanging up his laundry, including a large white sheet. "Just drying laundry," he realized. "Whew!"

"BOO!"

Ed jumped out of his skin and found Winry behind him. "That was mean!"

"Gotcha!" Winry teased.


	125. Chapter 125: Week

**My Fullmetal Drabble Collection**

 **by Ulquiorra9000**

 **Chapter 125: Week**

"You've got to be kidding!" Roy Mustang stared at the paper in his hands. "This shipment will take a week? I need that new uniform _now_!"

Riza shrugged. "Colonel, you're lucky it's not a month, in times like these."

"But I can't wait that long..."

Ed, however, dragged him and Maes to a jam session in a warehouse that evening. On the next day, Havoc had him practice the bow and arrow for fun, shooting apples and bags of grain. The next day, Roy worked with the Elrics to repair a run-down neighborhood and run a soup kitchen. Then going to the theater... and a road trip... and the zoo...

"What the hell?" Roy found his package sitting on his desk one morning. "How did this get here so fast?!"

"It's been a week, sir," Riza said with a small smile. "Obviously."

Roy scratched his head. "Didn't feel that long..."


	126. Chapter 126: Sour

**My Fullmetal Drabble Collection**

 **by Ulquiorra9000**

 **Chapter 126: Sour**

"Great party, Maes," Ed said brightly as Maes Hughes' house party went on into its third hour. The house was crowded and noisy with laughter and games.

"Thanks, Ed!"

Then, Riza Hawkeye wandered over with a tray of cocktails. "I just made these," she said. "Lemon and lime! Try them!"

Ed and Maes each took a glass , and Riza moved on. They tried it.

 _BLEH!_ Ed doubled over. It was like a squad of lemon thugs on steroids mugged his tongue! He desperately found Al and poured the rest into his armor. "Don't tell anyone," he hissed. Maes did the same. And so did Roy, and Jean, and Alex, and...

By midnight, as everyone left, Al waddled out of the house with Ed, loaded with gallons of super-sour cocktails sloshing around.

"Next time," Al said grouchily, "suck it up and drink what you're given!"

Ed sighed. "Okay, okay..."


	127. Chapter 127: Empty

**My Fullmetal Drabble Collection**

 **by Ulquiorra9000**

 **Chapter 127: Empty**

"What? Dammit, already?" Greed scowled and threw his empty whiskey bottle to the floor. He snapped his fingers. "Someone get me a fresh one."

So, Martel and Dolcetto set off into Dublith's thriving nightlife and found an awesome bottle of Scotch. But Dolcetto was toying with it carelessly down the sidewalk, and dropped it!

"Dummy!" Martel sighed. "What will we do now? We used up our allowance on that bottle!"

"I know..." Dolcetto bought a cheap wine, and put the Scotch bottle's label on it and brought it back to the hideout.

Greed drank the deceptive wine. "Hmmmmmm. You can't fool me, guys," he said.

Dolcetto broke out in a sweat.

Greed pointed. "Scotch with a hint of pinewood cask? My palette is very fine, you know..."

 _Maybe not_ that _fine,_ Dolcetto thought.


	128. Chapter 128: Punishment

**My Fullmetal Drabble Collection**

 **by Ulquiorra9000**

 **Chapter 128: Punishment**

Major Alex Armstrong and Maes Hughes hastily tried to hide the cigars, beer, and playing cards at their outdoor table near Central City's HQ. Too late; Fuhrer Bradley already saw.

"That's very naughty of you boys," he said, leaning on his sword like a cane. "It's time for punishment." He glared. "You know what this means?"

Maes could only make a frightened squeak.

"Here's a list of chores. Get a move on," Bradley said, handing over paper.

Chopping wood! Carrying heavy pails of water! Uprooting a tree stump! Washing everyone's cars! A whole afternoon of menial chores, but Alex hummed and sang the whole time.

"How are you enjoying this?" Maes cried.

"It's a chance to show off," Alex said brightly, waving to passing soldiers who watched.

"Easy to say, when you're packing biceps like those," Maes muttered. "Some punishment..."


	129. Chapter 129: Macabre

**My Fullmetal Drabble Collection**

 **by Ulquiorra9000**

 **Chapter 129: Macabre**

Roy Mustang thought it would be fun to put on a play that Riza Hawkeye wrote, but when he acted out her new screenplay _Midnight at the Doomed Clock Tower..._

"This is creeping me out," Roy complained after a scene during rehearsal. He wore a vampire-like outfit, while Ed played a zombified body on a laboratory's table and there were prop severed heads hanging from chains on the dungeon ceiling.

Director Riza, complete with her megaphone and beret, made an impatient noise. "Do the scene again!" she said. "Once more with passion!"

Roy hung his head. "Can't we do a fun play about puppies and rainbows and springtime?"

"Do the scene!"

 _This homunculus business is really getting to her,_ Roy thought. _Is this her idea of coping?_ Probably better to not pry. The show must go on!


	130. Chapter 130: Wash

**My Fullmetal Drabble Collection**

 **by Ulquiorra9000**

 **Chapter 130: Wash**

Roy definitely wasn't ready for _this_!

"Hold still already! Jeez!" The Colonel reached out, but the ever-so-elusive Black Hayate sprang from the full bathtub and raced back into Roy's living room, soaking wet. The dog whined and shook himself, getting water everywhere.

"We're not done! I gotta bathe you!" Roy seized the dog and catapulted him back into the tub. The dog swam to the edge... and escaped again!

Roy sighed. "Fine. You've already got soapy water on you... so let's dry you out!" He activated his flame alchemy on low lower and held his hands to only let a jet of warm air shoot out... and in the heat, Black Hayate's fur poofed out. He ended up like a sheep!

"There. Good enough," Roy declared.

Black Hayate barked and jumped back into the tub.

Roy stomped a foot. "Oh, _now_ you want to go in!"


	131. Chapter 131: Jelly

**My Fullmetal Drabble Collection**

 **by Ulquiorra9000**

 **Chapter 131: Jelly**

Roy Mustang looked up when the late Maes Hughes' wife, Gracia, stepped into his office with a visitor's badge pinned to her blouse. She carried a wicker basket.

"Huh? Oh, Mrs. Hughes," Roy said. "I didn't expect... what's in the basket?"

Gracia set it on Roy's desk and opened it to reveal jellies and jams in glass jars. "These were my husband's favorites," she said. "Elicia loves them all. I wanted you and Riza to try them, and borrow the recipes, if you like." She smiled. "And if you have a little daughter someday, she could try them, too."

"Ah. Thank you." Roy didn't have a family in mind, but who was he to refuse a tasty gift?

"Getting the toast and muffins for them is on you, however," Gracia said with a teasing smile as she left. "Good day."

*o*o*o*o*

 **A/N:** Surprise! I decided to resume this collection for a while. Let's see how far it goes!


	132. Chapter 132: Shave

**My Fullmetal Drabble Collection**

 **by Ulquiorra9000**

 **Chapter 132: Shave**

Things were a little too routine 'round these parts in East City, so Jean Havoc, after his morning shave, made an announcement.

"I'm offerin' a 1,000-cenz gift certificate to my family's store," he told everyone, "for whoever wins my Manly Beard contest, starting... _today_!"

Every manly man in the HQ took up the challenge. Razors and shaving cream went forgotten as everyone worked on his best whiskers, and after a month, Roy had a decent chinstrap beard, and Alex, of course, took a solid lead with his blond lumberjack beard. But...

"What's up, chumps?" Edward Elric marched in with a beard going to the floor!

"He's like a wizard!" a sergeant cried in awe, hands on her face.

No tonic this time; Ed was the real deal!

At long last...


	133. Chapter 133: Wriggle

**My Fullmetal Drabble Collection**

 **by Ulquiorra9000**

 **Chapter 133: Wriggle**

"Crap. Ventilation system's busted again," Major Miles noted, glancing up at the ceiling pipes at Fort Briggs. He knew that choked sound from anywhere. So, he got a ladder and tried to wriggle into the vent and find the problem... but he got stuck halfway in!

"Hey, Major! Nice workout!" Captain Buccaneer teased, seeing Miles' thrashing legs poking from the vent.

"Then... you try it!" Miles said with a cough.

"Hell no. I'm the size of a Briggs bear!"

Olivier refused to help, deeming it beneath her. No one else could fit, and the air was getting pretty stale in here.

Buccaneer sighed. "I never thought I'd miss that brat with the red coat. He was like a snow rabbit!"


	134. Chapter 134: Field

**My Fullmetal Drabble Collection**

 **by Ulquiorra9000**

 **Chapter 134: Field**

"Okay, morning chores are all done," Winry told her grandmother happily when she set down the last clean dish in the sink.

"Thank you, Winry," Pinako said. "We're also caught up on work orders. Why not have a rest?"

"Actually..." Winry got a wicked grin, put on her boots, and raced outside. She gathered up old tires, ropes, boards, buckets, and hammers and nails and saws!

"What's all this?" Pinako asked two hours later. She stared at the obstacle course Winry had built in the backyard.

Winry rubbed her hands together. "All this open space... I want to pass this obstacle course! Ed and Al have training and experience. It sounds fun!"

She hopped over tires and climbed ropes and scaled walls, and even monkey bars... but at the end, she collapsed by Pinako's feet.

"On second thought... is that break time still available...?"


	135. Chapter 135: License

**My Fullmetal Drabble Collection**

 **by Ulquiorra9000**

 **Chapter 135: License**

Solf J. Kimblee could hardly believe it! He needed a lift to Central to meet with King Bradley, but his usual car wasn't here! Where was Envy? Or anyone? Or even a decent horse-drawn carriage?

 _I need more power._

Later, after _finally_ getting a lift, Kimblee humbled himself and approached a driver's-ed school, joining 15 and 16-year-olds in the lobby, arms folded, ignoring all the teasing that came his way.

He felt pretty good about his written test, but then he got the result back: fail! What?!

"Remember, safety _first_ ," the instructor said patiently. "Your answers, well... they suggest a very reckless driving style! I can't give licenses to such a driver, let alone a test drive on the course."

Kimblee sighed through his nose. He'd have to cross his fingers for the next horse-drawn carriage to come his way...


	136. Chapter 136: Stain

**My Fullmetal Drabble Collection**

 **by Ulquiorra9000**

 **Chapter 136: Stain**

Hohenheim was no stranger to everyday grime on his travels, but one day in town, a pretty blonde waitress commented on his dirty clothes. So, Hohenheim got himself some new duds and prepared to throw the old ones away.

"Hold on, my good man," the tailor said. "Some of those stains are deep. But some 'o the poorer folk 'round here would be happy to take 'em!"

"Very well." Hohenheim donated the old clothes as asked. Months later, his shoes wore out, so he gave them to a cobbler, who broke them down into useful scrap leather. He later gave his corny old tie to a young man who was desperate to look good for a difficult job interview.

 _Unlike me, things wear out,_ he reflected at a cafe. _But they still have use. It's a marvelous thing._

He didn't mind the coffee stain he got on his vest.


	137. Chapter 137: Guard

**My Fullmetal Drabble Collection**

 **by Ulquiorra9000**

 **Chapter 137: Guard**

Weeks of fruitless searching were wearing Ling's patience thin. "I need to get more aggressive," he told Foo and Lanfan in a large town one afternoon. "Maybe rough up a few people, or make a bribe, or find dirt on a politician."

"That's not how a prince behaves," Lanfan chided him.

Ling scowled. "What would you know? You're just my bodyguard."

That evening, Ling was poking around when five thugs cornered him with knives. Ling disarmed two, but a third grabbed him and a fourth hit him hard. Until Lanfan arrived, that is, and drove them off.

"You were right," Ling admitted. "Rough isn't the right way."

"But you dismissed me earlier."

"You would know. You're my bodyguard."


	138. Chapter 138: Falcon

**My Fullmetal Drabble Collection**

 **by Ulquiorra9000**

 **Chapter 138: Falcon**

"Hey! Is that even safe?" Jean Havoc cried when he saw Alex Armstrong's newest hobby on Central HQ's front lawn.

"It's falconry, the sport of kings," Alex said grandly. His bird sat on his gloved arm. "Watch him fly. Go, birdie!"

With a cry, the falcon took off, and Jean had to admit, the bird looked pretty awesome up there. Then it swooped on not a mouse, but King Bradley's eye patch as he strolled by! The bird claimed its prize!

"Your excellency! I'm very sorry!" Alex blurted out.

"It's all right, Major," Bradley said. "Under my eye patch, I have a spare! Look!"

He sure did!

Alex felt like he dodged a bullet just now.


	139. Chapter 139: Grass

**My Fullmetal Drabble Collection**

 **by Ulquiorra9000**

 **Chapter 139: Grass**

"What? I have to _mow the lawn_?" 2nd Lieutenant Maria Ross yelped. "Don't we have maintenance staff for that?"

Roy shook his head. "Sorry about that, but some of them quit, and the rest are stretched thin. Look, Hawkeye is wiping the windows and Havoc is vacuuming the entire second floor. Just do it."

Ross had used a lawnmower before, for sure, but on a hot day like this, she was dying! And the back lawn was huge! She only had time to mow certain patches of it, making sure to work within sight of Roy's office.

The next day, Colonel Mustang called Ross to his office and pointed out the window. Out there, the paths of cut grass drew Ross's face and hands booing the Colonel!

Ross lifted her chin. "Let the record show I never _said a word_ of complaint."


End file.
